Friday, April 1, 2011

Andale Burro!

Angelica wore this dress on a Mexican donkey.

Vintage.  1970's. $17 at Buffalo Exchange in Tucson.

I know all about burros.  As a child I dug my bare heels into their ribs and held on for dear life. 

"Andele Burro!" I would command after a a few clicks of my tongue.

Sometimes the burro in question ignored my kicks and moved not at all.  Other times the jackass would take off like a bat out of hell.  Bumpy ride, to say the least.  Sore under carriage doesn't begin to describe...

Often I fell off a running donkey into mud or fresh cow pies.  Fresh cows pies are organic.  Earthy.  I'm a fan. 

I know a thing or two about humiliation, being intimately acquainted with donkey rejection and cow dung and all.  But I always got back up. 

Angelica liked that about me when she climbed into my body the other day.

It's weird how girl spirits get so attached to their former clothes.  I'm sure I'll do the same when my time comes.  I have a Valentino bag that carries my very soul in her lining.  I'll haunt whoever ends up with her for sure.

Angelica was a free and wild spirit.

She fell madly in Love with Mario who never paid her any mind.   Mario was in Love with Elena.  Elena thought Micheal was gay.

Angelica was always doing crazy things to get Mario's attention.

"Mira, Mario!" she would say as she sucked milk directly from the teat of a goat. 

"Mira, Mario!" she shouted as she swung from a tire swing into a shallow stream with an axe in her hand.

"Mira, Mario!" she laughed as she took that axe and decapitated a chicken for dinner that night and then chased Mario with the bloody carcass.  

Watch, Mario!

I can't imagine why Mario didn't Love Angelica in return.  She sounds delightful.

There was a donkey on the farm that witnessed her antics daily and grew tired of the charade.  He didn't mean to kill her.  Really.

One day Angelica thought she'd impress Mario with her jackass riding skills.  She had no idea Burro had it out for her.  But donkeys are quite unpredictable.

"Hop on my back, Angelica"  said Burro. 

Burro was a distant relative to the talking donkey from the Bible. 

Angelica climbed on Burro's back and dug in her heels.  "Andale, Burro!"

"Mira, Mario!" she called as Donkey took off.

You could have sworn someone shoved a jalapeno in Donkey's donkey because he brayed and bucked and ran and kicked until angelica was airborn.

She fell on her head.  Broke it.

Don't worry.  She's fine now. 

The End

PS    I often use the term "andale burro" when I'm tired or discouraged and want to quit whatever the task at hand my be.  It's the internal vocab that keeps me going like a jalapeno in the donkey.  You should try it.