Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I Hate Goggles

Do YOU hate goggles?

Took kids swimming at my good pal Lori's house today.  Lori defended my Honor in the Great Jana's World Debacle.

Thanks Loreo!  (The link features pics of me, Lori and Jana...)

Goggles stress me out and make me look severly mentally ill.

Dripping wet Children are forever standing over me with anxious faces.

Tighten my goggles.  Loosen my googles.  Tighten.  Loosen.  Tighten.

My hands shake and blood pressure reaches great heights over the tightening and loosening of these insipid plastic headaches.

Lori and I had a convo which was constantly interrupted by one child or another.

Me: Thanks for stepping up to the plate over at Jana's World.

Lori:  People either Love you or Hate you.

Me: Why do they hate me?


I was lost in thought.

Lori: He wants you to loosen his goggles.

I loosened the goggles.

The child jumped into the water and the goggles became a necklace.

Goggles is a stupid word and I feel stupid saying it.  Goggle.  Goggle.  Goggle.

Goggle is different from Oggle but when one wears goggles oggling is easier.

But actually that last statement is a LIE.  Because I tried goggles on today and my eyeballs were pushed back into their sockets so far I saw the inner most reccesses of my mind.  It's pretty insane and scary in there in there.

Lori: People look at your blog and think.  This is different.  I don't like it.  And you KNOW you shock people.

Me:  NO I DON'T!

Lori:  Yes. You do.  AND YOU KNOW IT.

Me:  Hmmph.  Not MY fault people scare easy.  I just share the inner depths of my soul...

Another child approached:  Loosen my goggles.

I tightened the goggles and they snapped off the child's head like a rubber rocket.

Lori:  There are goggle carcasses EVERYWHERE.

Me:  I believe goggles are created by Conspiring Men who hate women with lots of children who insist on wearing goggles.

I heard the word goggle over 789 times today.

Every time a child approached it was:  BLAH BLAH BLAH GOGGLE.

Lori and I laughed anew everytime the blasted word GOGGLE was spoken.

Me:  I think I was funny when I acted all sweet on Jana's blog like  oooo i'm sooo sorry.  here is my peace offering.. Then people clicked onto CRACK KILLS.  My husband took those pics when he was bored at Seven Peaks Water Park.

Lori:  You should write a beautiful post and a link... PS... CRACK KILLS.  You should incorporate Crack Kills into everything you write from now on...