Saturday, May 29, 2010

Love Heartbreak

How do I protect my children from Love Heartbreak?

If anyone has any ideas please let me know.

I spent the day with Serena, 11, today.  We laughed and sang Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift lyrics at the tops of our lungs.  We had lunch with friends and strolled the mall.  I posed in store windows in order to completely embarrass her.  It was a great day!

I looked at her and suddenly realized how well I've protected her from real heartbreak.  I have shielded her from the world.

I can't do it for much longer. 

So tell me.

What do I do when the boy she loves breaks her heart?

Because he will.

And what do I do when the man she loves a few years later breaks her heart again?

Because he will.

None of us can escape the internal destruction that comes with Love.

Like we can't escape getting our heads squeezed through the birth canal to get here in the first place.  I'm pretty sure it wasn't a comfortable experience.

Love is always with us, isn't she?  No matter where are in life.  She clings.  As humans we will never be free of Love.  We cannot do without her.

Love understands there is opposition in all things.  Light.  Darkness.  Pain.  Joy.  The elation of being In Love.  The utter destruction to our very souls when Love drops us from a height we had never before reached to a low we never knew possible.

I'm terrrifed to discover what Love will do to my baby.  I would take the pain of it all for her.  I have a high pain tolerance.  But I can't, can I?

In a world where over 50% of marriages end in divorce what do I tell MYSELF regarding my four children.  How can I beat the odds?

I can't promise them their spouse won't leave.  I can't prevent them from making their own mistakes that could lead to heartbreak.  I can't promise them Happily Ever After.

I saw Letters to Juliet today.  I sat and let tears slip down my face.  A beautiful boy compliments a  beautiful girl on her writing.  He reads her story.  They fall in love.  An old woman finds the love of her life after 50 years of being married to someone else.  The movie was rainbows and sunshine.  All the loose ends tied up perfectly.

Life is not like that, is it?

One of my best friends has decided she will divorce her husband.  They have multiple children together.  The pain of heartbreak can never start too young.  They will all suffer.

I feel discouraged today.

When I laughed with my daughter I felt pain accutely in my chest.  Lightening bolts.

"I love you, Mom," she said.

"I love you more," was my reply.

We smiled.

I suppose that's all I can do right now.  Smile.  Laugh as often as possible.  Pray it will be alright.  Stay close.  And be ready to catch her when she falls.

Laughter is my bravest face.

Sigh.  Forward March.

Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afriad.

PS  I look really fat in this picture.  I'm not.  Just so you know.  I'm mostly just PHAT!