"I'm not humble at ALL," I laughed, hoping Someone would refute my statement.
"That is SO true!" said Someone, earnestly. "You're not even a LITTLE bit humble...".
WOAH! WHAT?! WHAT THE HOLY POO POO PANTS?
I AM TOO HUMBLE!!!
I'm not allowed to say I'm humble out loud though. Because then everyone is all like,
"Oooo she's TOTALLY not humble. Crystal SAID she was humble and by definition her statement makes her NOT humble."
People who think I'm prideful just because I say I'm humble have no imagination whatever. And people with no imagination bore me. And I hate to be bored. Tolerating boredom is not in my nature.
But I'll tell you what IS in my nature... HUMILITY!
In order to prove how very humble I am I have decided to regularly include Thankful Thursday in my bloggy repertoire.
Humble folks are grateful folks. And vice versa.
I may sometimes be too braggy baggerson about stuff but that's only because I want to be liked and loved and admired. I'm a little insecure sometimes. Duh. But so is everyone. EVERYONE is insecure about SOMETHING.
I know God gives me everything I've got. Like socks and facial moisturizer and a microwave and every breath I take.
Let's talk about more stuff Heavenly Father grants this humble servant.
Here we go:
I'm thankful I am not totally unfortunate to look at. God gave me decent bone structure. I take no credit for the bones in my face. They were in my face at birth. I'm grateful for my face which includes two eyes, a nose, cheek bones, lips, a toothy grin and an enormous forehead.
I'm thankful for my round-ish glutes. I work hard at the gym so my backside won't sag yet. I am defying gravity. But I know God gave me my glutes and he can take them away. He also gives me the desire and motivation to get up and work out rather than stay home eating proverbial bons bons.
I'm thankful for my toes. Without them I would fall over. Worse, I could not get a pedicure and I love those. My toes are currently a brilliant blue that makes me smile when I look down. I would be sad without my toes. I would miss them.
I'm thankful for my eyebrows. I would look weird without brows. Sorta surprised, probably. They are not too thick. I like that.
I am thankful for my legs that run even though Shannon is faster and I'm gonna call her Speedy Gonzales from now on because her speed hurts my pride when we run in a 5K together. Some people don't even HAVE legs.
I'm thankful for boneless, skinless chicken breast. I might starve without it. That goes for protein powder as well. And Diet Coke. I would starve without Diet Coke.
I'm thankful I'm a Mormon even though people think I'm weird. I like having cool, unique stuff to believe in. I like having other weird Mormon people to associate with. I'd like my children to marry weird Mormons. Two of them already have big crushes on Mormon kids. I approve.
I'm thankful for my family in South Carolina. They have really cool accents and rocking chairs on their front porches.
I'm thankful for my Mexi family. They know how to party and laugh at everything under the sun.
I'm thankful I'm married to my original husband. It's kind of a miracle these days. Angels have helped us to stay the course. I have no doubt. Plus I love that guy. He has big muscles.
I'm thankful for my four crazy children. They are my everything. I actually LIKE them. I would choose them as my friends. And I know I DID choose them as my friends before we came to this earth. And I was like, "Let's play house when we get down there. And I'll be the mom. And you'll be my babies."
I'll stop there today.
I know I can take credit for none of the afore mentioned things.
I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.
I have done nothing to deserve these blessings.
I am a beggar.
If I were to truly contemplate all the blessings I have I would spend the rest of my days flat on my face praising God. I would pray and praise til the cows came home.
Howz THAT for humility? ;)