"Oh! I'm so sorry!" I say.
"You're just trying to take out the competition," smiles Girl.
The Tucson North Stake 5K is about to start.
I have to pee. Running on a full bladder is not recommended.
Girl is standing just on the other side of the bathroom door. Girl has to pee too.
I BLAMMED the door on Girl only because I forgot my X-ray vision in the car. I'm silly that way.
Once I'm inside the bathroom Girl continues to smile at me. She looks me up. She looks me down.
Her smile is the fakey kind. It's tight. Stingy. Her eyes are bright and beady.
"Soooo... you're wearing all black, huh?" she says with her tight, stingy mouth.
"It's slimming," I offer.
"Don't you think you'll be hot out there?"
I shrug. "I'll be fine."
"You like to wear Underarmour, huh? It that your favorite brand?"
I feel stupid in my all black, Underarmour get up. Hat. Short spandex pants. Top. What must I have been thinking?! I am a FOOL!
Then I see it.
Plain in the nose on her face.
A PROTRUDING NOSE HAIR!!!!
It's a long one.
Bristly and defiant.
I take a closer look at Girl. She is pretty. I can't deny it. Thick, auburn, curly hair. Green eyes. Slim figure. Blue tank top. White shorts. AND A PROTRUDING NOSE HAIR!!!!
HAHAHAAAA! WHO'S STUPID NOW!!!????
WHO'S STUPID NOW AT THE CHURCH 5K, SUCKA?!
YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! I'M NOT THE BIGGEST FOOL IN THE ROOM ANY LONGER, BABY!
Girl kept talking all snotty-like. She said lots of words.
I grinned. My smile was genuine.
I could think of nothing but her nose hair.
It's amazing how something as minute as a nose hair can alter the face of another so completely.
I didn't even know women could HAVE protruding nose hairs!
As she spoke more words the same thought kept circling about my brain,
I didn't even mind when the race began and she zoomed by me shouting,
"Good luck, Underarmour Girl!"
Oh. You too, you smug smug Nose Hair Girl.
I'm sure you'll win by a nose... hair.