Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Facebook Is Not A Toy

"Can I have a Facebook?" Serena the thirteen year old asked today.

I felt generous.

"Yes," I replied, generously.



"Can I have one too?" asked Bella the eleven year old.

I felt generous.

"Yes," I replied, generously.

Why did I feel so generous?  I don't know. Perhaps it was the fact my husband is out of town and there was no one to control my actions.  Who KNOWS what I'm capable of left to my own devices for too long.

Perhaps it was because I had eaten the chicken selects from McDonald's for dinner and the nonfood nature of the stuff had me all coo coo kachoo seeing things and behaving poorly.

Perhaps it was because as I was cleaning the shower today I slipped on the bleachy soapy floor and cracked my little head. BLAM!  But the shower smells of health and happiness now.  So worth it. 

My girls were off to the races.  Camp town races sing this song.  DO DAH DO DAH!  Camp town blah blah five miles long OHhhhh dooo DAH DAYYYYY! (That was the first song I learned on the piano, incidentally.  Sometimes I sing it the shower...)

"Before you go get all facebooked I need to say a few things," I stated, the very picture of calm and logic.

I was wearing my super cute new gypsy sandals which I think makes a difference in these things.  Commands respect to wear beads on the ankles.  AYE AYE CAPTAIN! (or is it eye eye captain?)

They stared at me and waited.

"Little girls are MEAN on Facebook.  PEOPLE are mean on the Internet. You need to be ready for that.  ...ADULT people are rude all the time online. It's awful and hurtful."

"Why are they mean, Mama?"

"Because they are hiding behind their computers and there is no consequence for being unkind. People can be cowards.  I also don't want you to be Friends with anyone you don't know.  There are VERY bad people in the world."


"Little boys can get carried away and try to be inappropriate.  There is no night time chatting with little boys."


"I need your passwords so I can check what you are writing in private messages when you least expect it."


"I will be your first friend on Facebook."


"You tell your friends I'm WATCHING them."

"We will."

"Off you go."

There were squeals of delight and elation.  Some running to my computer.  Some dispute over who would be the first to open her account.

I thought it would be cool if I welcomed them to Facebook personally. 

Everyone that sees my posts will know what a good, supportive, involved mom I am.  Serena  and Bella will be excited to have a post on their pages from their cool mama, I thought. 

I clicked onto Serena's page.

I wrote the following:

I LOVE YOU SERENA!  GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM!  Just kidding.  You are an awesome kid and you crack me up all day long and all day strong!

The moment she saw my post she removed it.


"That was really weird, Mom.  Don't write weird things on my wall."


My babies are growing up.