Sunday, March 4, 2012

Woman Cannot Live By Bread Alone

I baked bread all day.

I needed and kneaded it.

It rose.  I punched it down. 

I shaped the dough. 

Rolled it.  Loafed it.  Cinnamon loafed it.  Butter, cinnamon, sugar and raisins all rolled up swirly in the dough.

It rose again.

Kneaded it and needed it again.

Took a nap while I waited for the rising.

I dreamed I died.

Somebody shot me right in the chest. BLAM!  Blood everywhere.

I don't know who.  A man.  Just some man.

I floated up out of my body.

I was in the spirit world.  Which is Here.

I could see dead people.  They smiled.  We chatted.

I could see alive people.

I could see you.  I walked among you.

You could not see me.  But I could see you.

Some of you could hear me a little.  Feel me whispering in your ears.  But mostly you thought I was dead and gone.

I experienced a peace that passeth understanding.  I didn't want to be in my mortal body.  I was free.

I could see.  Everything.

Darkness.  Time.  The clock that ticks and ticks and tells you when to take the bread out of the oven.  And tells you to stress about 5 minutes late.  And people get mad when you are 5 minutes late and say, "Crystal is always late."  You hate when people say that about you.  Always is strong word.

You don't care about 5 minutes late or 5 minutes early in The Spirit world.  You are done with that.  Happy to be.

There is no stress.

I began to wonder at people who are bored by spiritual things.  People are bored with the essence of themselves. 

Peace is too slow.  People want fast.  Sex.  Fast sex.  Loud noises.  Bright flashing lights.  Altered states of mind.  These things punch down the spirit that speaks in hushed tones.

When I was Gone I could see the intentions and souls of Everyman and every man.  A collective conscience.  And the Individual.

I awoke terrified.

I was terrified that I had no desire in my sleep to awaken.  My children need me.  My heart raced. 

I came to myself and realized I was famished in this body. 

Dreaming death can really make a gal hungry.  Hungry for bread of every kind.  Starving to Know.  Starving to Feast.

I baked the dough.  It became bread.

Was happy to see the joy it brought to my family. This simple task of combining flour and yeast and Love.

We laughed together.  And watched America's Funniest Home Videos as we do every Sunday. 

We ate hot rolls with cheese and ham.  And warm rolls with butter and jam. 

"Don't cuddle my tummy!" I laughed. ''I am uncomfortably full.  Ugh!  I can't breathe."

"Let me see your full tummy," said Bella as she pulled up my shirt.  "Woah.  You ARE full.  You have a food baby in there."

Then she smacked my bare belly.  It sounded hollow.  Which it wasn't.

I proceeded to bite her brown cheek.  But not too hard. 

Life is good.