Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Jumble Dance Party Stank Face

AWWWWWW YEAAH, BABY! My man came home with a black sweatsuit for me tonight.

I'm feelin all gangsta, yo!

You know how I do.

'Member when I wanted one at Christmas time and those posers at Victoria's Secret didn't have my size?  WHATEVZ!  That's wack.

I'm over PINK scrawled across my booty, ANYWAYZ!   So played OUT!


I'm a' athelete, SON!  I rock UnderArmour now.  Cuz it was ON SALE!  WHAT. WHAT.

Here is a whole bunch of pics of me in my new threads.  I'm jumpin on my bed.  It's where the magic happens.  Pulling rabbits out of hats with a bat... and card tricks and such.

Mmmk.  So in my hand you see I am holding the book I can't seem to put down today.  (I tore myself away to write this crappy post because I miss ya'll.)

The Road.  That's the book. It won a Pulitzer.

The Road is messing me up.  Post-Armageddon.  A man and his son are traveling and there are dead bodies everywhere.  It's awful.  It hurts my heart.  It makes me think.  It makes me terrified for the future. It's disturbing.  Painful.  ...You should TOTALLY read it.

In other news I taught a dance class last night to the young women at church.


My Bella said, "Those booty moves are really inappropriate, Mom."

The girls at church said, "Sister Pistol!  You are CRAZY!"

I tried to teach them basic Samba, Salsa, Reggeaton, Cumbia and a little Hip Hop.

As I began moving my hips and shimmying my shimmy in front of them I suddenly realized...

"These little girls are WHITE!"

It had not occurred to me before. 

I had to slow it down real much.  They did a great job and had wonderful attitudes about the whole thing.

I threw in some belly dancing.

"I do NOT belly dance, Sister Pistol!" said one sweet little girl.

I had hoped that at least my own child would have a bit of the Latin vibe in her blood.

"I don't like these moves," said she.

In the end I let them make up their own dance moves.  They were far happier.

We bounced around aimlessly for half an hour.

I learned the following dance and tried to teach it to them but it was a no go.

We had fun anyway.

And now I have some new moves for when I mop my floors and go to the grocery store. YAY!!!  Grocery store dancing is THE BEST!


I gotta go now.

I gotz to get up early.

My Momma is paying me to take her to the Mesa, Az.  Mormon temple tomorrow. 


Plus I LOVE the temple.

I feel peaceful and FAR less crazy after having been there.  It's cleansing.  AHHHHHHH.

In addition, I'm always surprised I'm living my life in such a way that I belong there... even though I teach the young women booty dances at church...

Peace Out, Yo!