"I suppose it is because I am so serious," said my sister Michelle, "but I don't enjoy putting up Christmas trees. What do Christmas trees have to do with Jesus?"
To this I intelligently replied, "BECAUSE IT'S FUN!"
You do see how my response is juvenile and makes no conventional sense to the mature mind, right?
What do Christmas trees have to do with Jesus? ...Because it's FUN...?
I could never be a lawyer with this caliber of comeback. (My mom always said she wanted to me to be a lawyer... She said I'd be good at it. ...turns out all I wanna do is be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. So much for women's lib. I am far too confident in my femininity for bra burning. But thanks for offering. Sagging is just not my thing, at this point.)
CHRISTMAS IS FUN!
I sang all day today because why? Because it's FUN and also it is December 1st!
YAY FOR DECEMBER!
YAY FOR CHRISTMAS TREES AND SANTA AND STOCKINGS AND GETTING WAY TOO FAT FOR OUR SKINNY PANTS BUT THAT IS WHY WE HAVE FAT PANTS, DUH!
Tonight after work I gathered my younguns together and exclaimed with all the fervor of my Christmas loving soul,
"WHO WANTS TO TRIM THE TREE AND DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE???!!!"
"MEEEEEE!" shouted the two youngest voices.
But hark! Whose voice through yonder hallway is missing? What's this? What's this you say? Where are my two eldest? Where are their shouts of glee at the mention of a Christmas tree?
Those shouts of glee have gone the way of all the worldly world. I am saddened.
"We don't really care about decorating the tree. But we want hot chocolate."
DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT DECORATING??? THE TREE???? WHAT?!
Well, they may as well have kicked me in the nose with a response like that. Have I taught them NOTHING? How can Santa fly his magic sleigh anywhere NEAR our house with that kind of anti-Christmas cheer for all to hear? Dancer and Prancer are especially sensitive to negative energy as they have become Buddhists in their old age.
So my girls want hot chocolate do they? They want a sweet reward for being a sullen tween and a grumpy teen, do they? To the uncooperative go the spoils.
"Smile for the camera, Serena," said I.
"I don't wanna."
"Not only are the angels in heaven recording every tiny deed you do, but I am also recording your life on my blog. Say hi to the peoples."
Yes. I can see how she might think I am lame at 13. Sigh. (She secretly adores me and wants to be just like me, of course. She is the MOST like me of the four. But don't tell her. She'll never forgive you.)
So the little red hen worked and worked and watched her smaller chicks accidentally drop and shatter ornament after blessed ornament with a smile.
When it came time to place the golden star atop the tree my eldest daughter said,
"I wanna do it."
"Tyson asked first, honey. And you didn't help trim the tree so your punishment will be that of watching your brother put the star on the top."
She growled in her throat and rolled her eyes. (She gets those moves from me, by the way. I'm a big throat growler.)
Hooray for Christmas and Christmas trees and for the men of the house who top trees together with nary a complaint!! HOORAY!
HAPPY EARLY DECEMBER, EVERYONE! May you not be trampled by over-zealous shoppers in the malls and maybe you should avoid the malls entirely as I heard two people were shot on black Friday and what is this world coming to.