I had a dream my mother died last night. I was at her bedside as she trembled and gasped her last breath. I cried and begged her not to go. But she did.
My dream suddenly found me homeless and single with a newborn. My sister and I learned to steal food and money to feed our little ones. We were orphans now.
We lived under a bridge with a troll and the three billy goats gruff. We were very good thieves and had a wonderful time once we got the knack. (In reality, both of us did our fair share of taking what was not ours in our teen years. Gifted thieves, we are, when we apply ourselves... I have since repented...)
I awoke in a panic. My heart raced. I fell asleep again only to dream the same blasted thing.
I spent the night at my parent's place last night.
It was Dad's birthday.
We ate chicken and rice and cheesecake.
We watched Thor. I brought it for Dad. He liked it very much. Said it was now one of his favorite movies. I feel pretty good about that...
I enjoyed Thor as well. He is a Humungous Manly Viking. ROAR! I do so enjoy a Manly Viking with thick arms and thighs. I married me a Viking, ya know. It was the thick legs that caught my eye...
I was a baby bird betwixt my parents last night. I peeped and they fussed.
It was,
"Try the rice I made, Crys. What do you think?" (I love it, Dad! I'm so impressed with your culinary skills...)
"Do you want some ice in your milk, Baby?" (Yes.)
"Let's have a cup of hot tea, Crystal-ito. Do you want honey?" (Mmm hmmm...)
"I have a book for you on the history of the Vikings and the gods they worshiped... I will give it to you after the movie... I suppose kids these days only learn history through fiction and superheros...". (K, Mom. I'd enjoy reading it...)
They fussed over me. I allowed it. Reveled in it. I cuddled on their bed. Daddy on my right. Mom on my left. Thor before my eyes.
Joy found me. She smiled on me. She placed a blanket of Love about my shoulders. Warmth seeped into my being through every pore. I glowed like a firefly. Joy was so powerful in her presence my heart burned and threatened to burst. Imagine if it had! What a glorious mess.
YAY! Yay for the moments in life when we know Joy has found us. Yay for the moments when we are lucid enough to appreciate the majesty of Life and True Love!
This morning I told my mother my dream.
"I was crying and crying, Mom. But you didn't care! You DIED ANYWAY!" I was accusing in my tone.
She laughed,
"Sounds like a good dream for me..."
"Yeah... but not ME! NOT when you leave me behind! Not when I KNOW I don't belong here. Man, Mom, sometimes I look up at the sky and ask God, 'Is this a JOKE? You've GOT to be joking'. And of course it IS a joke...."
"I'm sorry you had that dream. ...When I die just make sure They put make-up on me so I don't look too pale."
I stare at her and shake my head.
"...You'll be fine, darling."
It is with gratitude in my heart I find Joy In The Journey. Every minute is a gift. Every breath is a blessing.
Furthermore, I hope I never have to resort to living under a bridge with a troll and the three billy goats gruff. And I don't ever want to be single. But I wouldn't mind a new baby... I may, in fact, put New Baby on my Christmas list and see what Santa delivers... Twins would be cool... Two for one...
