Friday, October 21, 2011

Making Love

In an effort to be become more refined I have been reading a great deal of classic literature as of late.

I don't ever want to be too refined, however, so I also make sure to watch junk TV like Tosh. O and Fashion Police- both will ensure I never make it to the highest degree of glory...  I don't know if I would fit in with those super righteous people anyway...

In reading classic lit I have discovered a new thing.



Yeah.  In the olden times when people spoke of Making Love they were not referring to the huffing, puffing, heaving, writhing, sliding, barking, breaking act of intercourse!

Making Love actually refers to any romantic act or conversation between a man and a woman who are totally crushin' on each other.

I am so glad to understand this concept finally.  All this time I thought all those characters in old timey books were going about shagging each other in public without shame.

I am also glad of this new found knowledge because it really irritates me when I watch TV or a movie and a couple who just met get down and dirty and then they say, "We made love".

WhatEVER!  THAT is NOT LOVE!  That is called He Won't Call You Now... Ever ...or Free Milk Why  Buy Cow Now?

Mmmmk, so.... the true meaning of Making Love...  I will give you a For Instance.

For instance, you can make love to your man by smiling meaningfully when he comes home from work.

You can make love by telling him he smells delicious like a juicy steak.

Mere eye contact can be making love.

A wink from across the room... That's Love Making for sure.

The brush of your arm against his.

For Men:

Telling her she takes your breath away when she holds your hand. (You're probably lying but it doesn't hurt to say it anyway... you'll probably get lucky...)

Giving her your credit card and saying, "You deserve a new pair of shoes, baby" is a great, heroic and selfless act of Love.


Making him a ham and cheese sandwich with extra ham and cheese while wearing nothing but an apron and a grin...  That's making love in the classic sense.

Do you catch my drift?

This is what is meant by Making Love.

Now go and do thou likewise.