Friday, August 12, 2011

Double D Means Fail and The Poor Didn't Want This One...

Out of the mouth of babes.

Exhibit A:

I am sitting in church with 3 hours of sleep under my belt.  I cannot focus on the speaker.  My eyelids droop.  Are we there yet?

My niece, Joey (7), is quietly playing Barbie paper dolls to my right.  Coral (33) is quietly playing Barbie paper dolls to my left.

I watch them dress and undress the dolls. Joey is preparing her girl for private school.  Coral is adorning her girl in a ballet dress and combat boots.

"I wanna play," I whisper to Joey.

She solemnly hands me two dolls.

"Pick one,"  she whispers in return.

There is a blond and a brunette.

I choose the brunette.  I hand Joey the blond.

Joey is a brunette.  She stares at the doll I extend toward her.

"Nevermind.  I want that one," she takes my swarthy doll and leaves me with the blond.

I'm a little put out.  Just a tad. You can't just go about offering up brunettes and then taking them away again!  It isn't right!

I resign myself to dressing the blond.  Can't have a busty blond attending church in her bra and panties, can we?  It's indecent.

I dress my doll in a pair of skinny jeans and a tank top.

"I am the Vice President of this school," says Joey.  "And the principal.  You are the student."


"You have failed all your tests.  You got a D minus.  No.  You got a DOUBLE D.  DOUBLE D MEANS FAIL," she whispers sternly.

"Double D means FAIL?  I fail?"

"Yes.  You FAIL.  Get out of my class!"

Coral leans over and wants to know what is happening in our world.

"Joey kicked me out of her class.  She gave me a double D.  Double D means fail."

"You failed?"

"I failed.  Because of the Double D."

Joey will make a fine Vice President/Principal one day.  Even though she is prejudice against busty blondes.

Exhibit B

"You look like you should be on 'What Not To Wear'," says Serena.

"You don't like my dress?"

"I think it's the ugliest dress I ever saw."

"Yeah" pipes up Bella.  "You look like a cupcake gone awry." 

"A cupcake gone awry?"

"Yup.  A cupcake.  Gone awry.  Pink frosting and weird sprinkles all over."

"But I LIKE this dress.  It's ugly sexy cool.  It's vintage and I bought it for $6!"

"It's made out of towel material," says Tyson.

"Terry cloth."

"You don't even need a towel when you get out of the shower.  You can just put on that dress," he says.

"Mom?  Are you going to write about that awful dress on your blog?" asks Bella.


"Well then let's take a close up picture of this ugly fabric so everyone can see.  Then they can vote."

So there we have it folks.  Yea or nay on the $6 dress?  Be honest.  I can take it.

Btw, the belt is from Anthropologie and cost more than my couch.

What say you?