Friday, July 15, 2011

this was a weird one

"Shhhh.  We're hiding in here.  We're hiding in our fort," I said.

So we all talked in whispers and huddled in shadows.

Every time my children and nieces and nephews go to MT. Lemon they automatically begin the building of a fort.  They find old logs and  snappy sticks.  And like little ants they carry burdens 300 times their own weight to accomplish the task at hand.

Did you ever build forts when you were a kid?  Wasn't it a great feeling?

Sometimes the feeling of hiding in my fort as a kid inspired undue excitement and I would experience the urge to urinate.  Did you ever enjoy that thrill?  Where you were just so excited you wanted to pee pee?

What if I were trapped in my fort forever?  What if no one found me for a million years.  Then I would be just bones.  I would be a spirit and haunt my fort.  And then they'd be sorry for all the mean things they ever said or thought about me.

And now that I'm dead I can read thoughts.  and maybe I'll play tricks on them.  like knock their hats off their heads.  or drink all their chocolate milk when they're not looking.  Can I drink chocolate milk when I'm dead?

sometimes as a kid I used my closet as a fort when I was mad at my mom.  Coral would bring me cups of water and pieces of bread.  Because I was NOT GOING TO COME OUT EVER!  I WOULD DIE IN THAT CLOSET!  then I'd fall asleep and find myself all tucked up in my bed.

Today I played fort with my son and niece.  I kinda wanted to pee for all the excitement.  I refrained.

I pretended I was a wild aborigine protecting my son from the evil camera lens that steals the soul.

I became very defensive when the soul stealing hot flash upset my vision.  Aborigines are not accustomed to bright flashes of light.

My sister, Michelle, was forced to be my photog because we were up on that mountain for many hours.  I began to be bored.  And what does one do when one is bored?  The obvious, of course.  One forces a sibling to do a narcissistic photo shoot of ME in the Hut of Magic.

When I'm in a fort or in nature I often drink a diet coke and meditate on the state of my soul.

If you meditate for long enough you will begin to hear the Love of the Universe buzzing in your adorned ears.  today I heard a buzz.  Thought it a bee or obnoxiously loud beetle of some sort.  Come to discover it was, in fact, a beautiful hummingbird.  She flew right in front of me.

Hello, little hummingbird.  Are you having a great day?

Yes.  Thank you for asking.  Give a hoot don't pollute," said the bird.  

I thought the owl said that.

He's indisposed.  He asked I take over his duties for an hour or two...

Well done...However, you speak so softly. Would you repeat what you just said, please?

Then I did that pose I do when I can't hear what someone is saying...

The hummingbird flew away without further discussion.


My sister, Michelle, says I have no shame.  That as long as I am entertained I will post crazy pictures of myself.  She says I am easily entertained so I am capable of posting all kinds of pic that should embarrass me... should but don't.

Well I must bid you all farewell.  I am hosting another book club at 12:30 in the day of Friday.  It is The Fancy Lady Book Club.  I am in two book groups.  I created one with friends 6 years ago.  The other I was invited to join.  i was very honored to be considered.  The women in that group are respectable, retired and righteous.  Their husbands are surgeons and lawyers and the like.  I'm not sure what they see in me.  I have been told I bring a lively energy to the discussion.

I have prepared my famous chicken salad.  The book I chose is East of Eden which is dear to my heart.  I love it for it's darkness, it's love and it's light.  I love it for the true depiction of human pain and a desire to do right.

Some ladies ahve already expressed they did not like the book.  It was too dark for their tastes.  Should be an interesting discussion, eh?

I'll let you know how it goes.

In the mean time I'll just laugh about it. silly to become too stressed about a book club.

PS Do you ever feel like you have spirits in your room?  I do.  Right now.  I can feel people in here.  Hi guys......

this was a weird post