Tuesday, April 26, 2011

What the...?!

People are putting me in charge of Things.  Do they not know me AT ALL?  What the...??

I don't WANT to be In Charge.

Sure, there was once a time I had dreams of being C.E.O. of Something and wearing a Lady Suit and be all buttoned up.  But that don't suit me now.

I only want to make YOU (meaning all the folks in which I come in contact) FEEL something.  I want to inspire tears, laughter, anger, compassion.. WHATEVER!

I want to sing and dance and play and climb trees/monkey bars and tell my stories with all the inappropriate voices... I want to Love everybody!   ....and that's it!

But NOOOOO.  People are starting to realize I am capable of Serious Things.  YUCK!  Oooooo yucky yuckerson  poo poo pants!

I liked when I had tiny babies and The People left me alone because I always had vomit on my left shoulder and dark circles under my eyes and a baby clinging to my exposed breast.  Over-exposure and a maniacal look in the eye is a repellent, I learned.

Now, however, my children are bigger than I, almost.

I am in charge of girls camp at church.  Collecting monies.  Medical forms.  Food stuffs.  20 Young ladies.  Arts and crafts.  Music (I actually love the music part).  Spiritual upliftment (I like that too, actually).

I work a job.  I talk to subcontractors and Important clients about insulation, grout, granite, base boards, and monies.  I sound very professional.  I get stuff done.  I can be counted on to Perform to the best of my ability.


What the...??

When did this happen?  I don't wanna!  WAHHHHH HAAAAA!

I have BEGGED my husband to pretty please with sugar on top KNOCK ME UP!  If only I had another baby or two (two would be ideal... I'd name them Pip and Pop)...  If I had a another child, The People would leave me alone.

I could say,  SHHHHHHHHH!  Can't you see the baby is sleeping?  I can't possibly discuss wash basins and how to build a camp fire.  You'll have to find someone else.

I'd like to warn The Old Woman Who lived in a Shoe who had so many children she didn't know what to do.   I'd like to issue a warning to that old hag and tell her the minute those birdees leave the shoe someone else will be knocking on her door with Things To Do.

Things To Do are highly over-rated.