Monday, April 11, 2011

i-pod in the trash. the devil's work.

I was angry with my subconscious mind until I realized Satan was at fault.

I threw my i-pod in the trash.  In Las Vegas.  I am now a 7 hour drive from said i-pod, which I deperately NEED to function properly!

Exhibit A: 

You see here in my Pre-Race photo, the i-pod is hidden safely from view.  (This pic has nothing to do with my i-pod but I wanted you to meet my new long lost Mormon cousin, Amy, and her friend Dora.  Amy is the blondish chick.  I only met her 5 weeks ago.  Tell ya about it later...)

Exhibit B:

 You see here, I had my pink musical gadget securely fastened to my right hip.  (This pic was taken post-race. my vision was blurred and legs were inoperable but I DID IT!)

See that awesome, cheapo, made in china medal hanging 'round my neck??  Themz is called braggin' rights, yo.

Upon arriving back to my sister's house after the race I removed all obstacles (from my person) impeding a proper shower. 

Here you see me posing (as I am a poser) with Ganesh, the remover of Obstacles.  My sister's handiwork.

My i-pod was one of those obstacles.  I put it in a plastic bag full off pamphets and nonsense given to me at the race.

When it came time to pack my things to return home, I saw the bag of nonsense.

Why, this bag is riddled with nonsense! thought I.  I will dispose of it post haste!

So I threw my plastic bag en la basura without a second thought.

I continued to play Posy Poser for the camera, as my sis and I are wont to do. Dress up just never gets old!  When we're 80 we'll still be like, oooo take a picture of me knitting! or ooo take a picture of me mooning the pizza delivery boy!

Here is a photo of my sister, Coral the Artist, wearing a vintage bridal gown she plans to spray paint and display on a wall in her home.

My memory did not serve me well until after the 7 hour drive home. 

I suddenly had a flash of light illuminate my mind.

I saw myself in slow motion.  Placing i-pod in bag.  Posing for pics.  Tossing bag in trash.  Driving away.

At first I wanted to blame my faulty mind.  I began to berate myself.

How could you be so DAFT?

But then I remembered all the teachings of my youth.  Satan, my friends, is the author of all evil.  There is NO MIDDLE GROUND.  Only good and evil.

What has occured in the case of my i-pod is EVIL!

While Ganesh may be the remover of Obstacles, Satan is the remover of i-pods.  Plain and simple.

I will not blame MYSELF!  Nay.

I blame the Dark One who confused my mind with a mist of darkness and distracted me.  Using my vanity as a means of helping me forget the things that are really important in life, like i-pods.

Another theory might be that I was simply too exhausted from all the running and traveling that I temporarily lost my senses completely.

But I prefer to believe

Satan did it.

PS  Now I gotta buy a whole new i-pod!  I can't believe how addicted I am to electronic devices!!  Cruches is what they are.  We are crippled without them.  What electronic device can you not live without?