Friday, March 18, 2011

The Smartest Pig

I'm dizzy.

Have you ever eaten so much you saw stairs?  ...Leading right up to the pearly gates where wing-ed men greeted you with harps and chicken wings? 

I see stairs.

Bare with me as I type this bong.  Cheese is clogging my mental faciltities in such a way I cannot think clearly...

Come morning I will embark on a 10-mile run.  Training for a Half.

I will race in the mountains of Nevada on April 9th with a blond, single, leggy cousin who will surely leave me choking in her dust.


If I had a choice I would be the little pig of the three that built his house of Straw. 

He was the smartest, of course.  He spent his monies on fun things of the world.  He INDULGED in The Material and The Delicious.  He was a Material Pig.  So when the wolf came and huffed and puffed and blew his house down, what did he do?

What did the Wise Pig of the Straw House DO?  Why, HE RAN! 

He ran off those excess calories.  And he was FINE.  Skinny.  Safe.  Which are the same.  And the pig of the Brick House who never had any fun and only ate corn and slop, built a sturdy abode.  Brick Pig HAD to let his brother in, because that's what family is for.

When Mr. wolf came with his Little Pig Little pig let me come in...  Straw House Pig, who was now skinny and safe from all the running said, Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!

So you see my point.  Yes?

Proper nutrition is important before a big run.

It's called Carbo Loading. It's a real thing.  I'M SUPPOSED TO EAT LIKE THIS!

10 miles is a long row to hoe, my fried.

Don't judge me.

PS I lost 3 lbs this week. 4 more to go.  My abs are my best feature which is digustingly self-induglent to share but true and this is MY blog and I can right whatever I want.  but I bought a one-piece swimsuit this week from the Vans store, which means I will hide my hard earned abs from the world at large.  it's black and HOT. for a one-peice. which is  my first ever. but im trying to be modest for once.  i think im succeeding in the attempts.  at modesty.