I had TWO DATES tonight. With TWO different men! Two big, burly, tatooed Vikings! AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm not gonna lie. I felt special. Reverse polygamy is not a bad idea. I think I would do a good job of treating everyone fairly. Giving equal attention to all parties involved.
I suggested this brilliant idea to my dates. They didn't laugh with me. One is a lonely number where laughter is concerned. But I don't care. HAHAHAHAAAAAA! So there.
My dates are brothers. Jason and Jordan. I'm married to one of them. The other is married to my best friend. She wasn't available.
Side Note:
Serena jumped in the above picture without my consent. I wanted to portray ME with my dates. UGH! If I have told my children ONCE, I have told them a 1000 times, "All the world is my stage and you Children are my PROPS!"
Serena is a very unruly prop.
Back to my date:
All night I was fed a steady diet of crude humor and naughty innuendo. I'm sure you'll be shocked to discover I contributed to the convo without skipping a beat.
Will I EVER grow up? Ever? Will I EVER be stately and respectable? It looks bleak.
We went to sushi and a movie. Unknown. I dug it.
It was my second movie for the day so I didn't get any popcorn. But then I wanted some.
There was a man on my left with a huge tub of greasy, inviting, poppy corn. I reached over and took a big handful. He was shocked at first but he got used to it. He said I had a nice smile.
His wife never got used to it but that's not my problem, is it? No. It's not. Go get your own freakin' popcorn, Lady! That's what I say.
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The first movie of the day was Gnomeo and Juliet. I laughed really loud and hard when a mushroom walked up to a talking frog and the frog said,
"You look like a Fun Guy!"
I laughed hysterically because I realized the mushroom was a FUNGI.
Get it? FUN GUY? FUNGI? You look like a FUNGI? BAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!
IT'S BRILLIANT!
I was the only one laughing in the whole packed theatre. how embarrassing. I laugh alone quite a bit. It's my cross to bear (or is it bare)? roar.
My brother-in-law and I are good friends. We talk fashion and tatoos and sex and religion. The combination of which makes for an interesting discussion. If only you were a fly on the wall... Do flies blush? I bet they do when they hear our conversations.
Why is my child standing on the movie theatre seats? Doesn't she have a MOTHER? Will SOMEONE please CONTROL that kid?
