Monday, February 21, 2011
Stabbing: Who Done it?
"Who stabbed holes in the leather couch with a pencil?!" I demanded.
My children all looked at their shoes.
"Speak up! I want to know who defaced my couch! Couches don't grow on trees, you know!" I said.
Still no one confessed.
Not I, said the cat. Not I, said the rat. Not I, said my fibbing children.
I had the feeling Maya was the culprit.
So I said, "I have the feeling Maya is the culprit!"
Everyone looked at Maya. Some of the other children nodded in agreement. There was muffled muttering, Maya,yes,Maya did it,Mayaisacouchstabber,Maya.
"I didn't do it!! I really didn't do it!" said the accused.
We all continued to eye the 6 year old fireball with suspicion.
At long last, the pressure and guilt were too much.
"It was me..." said TYSON. "I stabbed the couch with a pencil. I don't know why." Tears filled his eyes.
We were shocked. T-bone is my peacemaker. Maya is my tiny tornado! How could I have been so wrong?
Maya burst into tears.
"Oh MAMA! WHY WOULD I LIE? YOU ALL LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS LYING!
I wrapped her up in my arms. "I am so sorry, my love. Mama was wrong. You were right."
"I used to lie when I was little," she continued. "When I was 4 I lied all the time. But now I'm SIX! I have already lost THREE TEETH!" she cried.
I held her while she cried. "I know, baby. You're big now. I should have known better," I said.
"AND WHY WOULD I LIE ON A SUNDAY?! I WOULD NEVER LIE ON A SUNDAY!" she wailed.
"Yes," I agreed. "On the sabbath we take a break from lying to keep it Holy. What can I do to make it better?"
"You could paint my nails..." she sniffed.
My baby forgave me my tresspasses because I knew not what I had done.
And what about tyson's punishment? asks Katy.
Well his guilt was his own punishment.
He climbed into the arms of his Uncle Jason and found refuge and protection from the storms of life.
I am such a pushover.
It's Crystal. ...PISTOL IF YOU'RE NASTY!
Check out my black and white top! It's super RAD. 80's retro. $20 at Tilly's. I'm super excited about it! I plan to wear some hot hooker heels to go with. (You gotta admit the fluffy slippers are smokin' too though!)
Back when I was in jr. high these loose fitting half-shirts were worn with nothing underneath by both males and females, simultaniously creating a trashy and titillating fashion statement for the ages. LOVE IT!
As a Mormon Material Girl I nod to the over-exposed with a Red Shade layering shirt. Shade is a Mormon people clothing company specifically geared toward modesty.
I'm not sure those Mormons meant for Shade shirts to be worn with skin tight leggings... but you got one life and you not coming back so express yo self!
The way I feel about leggings can be expressly expressed through a special song written by Lionel Richie in 1985.
Stuck on you
I've got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can't lose
Guess I'm on my way
Mighty glad you stayed
WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM!