It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks. ~Helen Keller
I had a super sucky suckerson weekend. Very poopy. So then I got a doozy migraine. (I never get those, hardly ever!)
I was so upset and sick I didn't even dress the cutest of everyone at church! To add insult to injury, I didn't even take a picture of me so you could see what I wore! And my outfit wasn't even exciting like usual, even. Black dress. Black shoes. No jewelry. NO LIPSTICK! I KNOW, RIGHT? You could swear I lost my will to live. As if I were attending my own funeral!
I stayed at church for, like, 5 seconds because T-Bone was giving a talk. And I'm a really good supportive Mommy, and all.
Rachelle was, like, "How are you?". All polite and nice.
But I wasn't polite and nice 'cause I didn't say, Fine. How are you?
Instead I said, "I have a migraine. Can you see the vein popping out on the side of my head? It's throbbing and everything."
And she said, "Yes."
I looked extra gross.
Today I didn't want to get out of bed. I felt super bummed and sad. That old Depression was creeping in. He wanted to take me over. Sit on my chest. Sit in my chest. Suffocate me until I gave up and gave in.
When I freak I pray.
What else is a girl to do?
I buried my face in my pillow. And I was like,
"I can't go back there! I can't go to that quicksandy place. The place that doesn't let me out of bed. The place that holds me down. The place that whispers self-destruction. I can't. Help! Help! What do I do??! Ahhhhaaaa. help."
I wanted a booming voice to say STAY IN BED AND CRY AND EAT OREOS ALL DAY. YOU'VE EARNED IT!
That didn't happen.
I was still for a minute. What I felt was this:
Get up and work.
So I argued.
I don't wanna! I'm tired. Sick and tired! It's all TOO MUCH!
I felt like a petulant child.
But I got up.
There is LOTS to do at my place on a Monday morn. My fam has a super fun lazy party all weekend. Every weekend. Then Monday comes and... THEY LEAVE.
They are all like, "Bye, Mom! Have a great day!"
And I wanna be sarcastic and sneer, "Ohhhh I willllll!"
Which means I really I won't.
I am tiny in my mountain of mess.
...and my hair is all crazy.
My loved ones bless me with dirty socks on the floor. Trash over-flowing outta trash cans. Filthy bathrooms. Wierd goopy things under beds and in closets. Laundry. Laundry. Laundry.
I threw myself into my work. I sang. I danced. I cursed (a little, but not too much.)
I laughed with Maya. She suggested we both put the empty brownie box on our heads as we snuggled with the garbage can. Creative! ...and sanitary.
"Mama, take a picture of me for your blog! We are soooo funny!" she giggled. "Ok, now YOU put the box on your head."
One man's trash is another man's treasure, you know!
When my older children returned home from school all was well.
The house smelled of bleach, fresh chicken soup and Love.
I felt like Queen of The World when my boy said, "The house smells so clean! I LOVE that!"
This morning I asked for "power equal to my tasks."
I wanted strength to do the things that seemed overwhelming and near impossible.
When I tucked my babies in soft, clean linens tonight I knew I had achieved something GREAT.
With a little Divine Intervention:
I am Wonder Woman!
(Or Elasta-Girl Or She-Ra or Some Other Really Cool Female Super Hero.)