You are being watched. All the time.
Did you know that?
Me too. I'm being watched.
Then humans decide if they want to be like you or not.
It's downright unnerving.
A few weeks ago at church a GORGE 16 year old girl said, "Oooooo I LOVE your purple sparkly nail polish!"
We discussed where I got it and so on and so forth. I thought it was just a harmless convo that would result in nothing. No results at all. Little did I know!
The next week she found me. "Hey! I got the nail polish you had on last week. I love it!"
She proceeded to show me her fingers and toes. Sure enough. PURPLE SPARKLES!
At first I was flattered.
But then I realized...
TEENAGE GIRLS FROM CHURCH ARE TRYING TO BE LIKE MEEEEEEE!!!!
Sure. It may seem innocent RIGHT NOW... but what about when they start wearing my shade of lipstick and buying vintage dresses? Huh? There are only so many vintage dresses in the world to go around! Once they're gone, they're gone! It's not like you can make MORE, NEW vintage dresses! Vintage dresses BY DEFINITION are OLD!!!
And what about when they all start cutting their hair and dying it black? Huh? How will people tell us apart? Or WHAT IF they ALL change their names to Crystal Pistol? What then?
It's bound to happen.
I'm inadvertently creating my own ARMY of CRYSTALS! Heaven help us all!
And that's just the PHYSICAL me. What about when they start BEHAVING like me? Singing in public? Smiling at strangers? Cutting people off in traffic and then flipping them off when they honk? Wearing string bikinis? (Mormons aren't supposed to wear tummy showing bathing suits...)
I don't really flip people off. Except in my head. But The Bible says if you are an Adulterer in your heart than you are a cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater in Real Life. So maybe its the same with flipping people off... and if THAT'S true maybe I should just DO IT AND GET IT OVER WITH! If I'm not getting any credit for not ACTUALLY flipping people off then...
I feel ill. It's all too much.
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME I CAN'T WEAR STRING BIKINIS ANYMORE???? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING??
Whatever shall I do?
BEHAVE MYSELF?? (That seems extreme...)
We all know how UNSTABLE I am! Girls should NOT emulate THIS!
How can I prevent it from happening?
Perhaps if I stop drawing attention to myself... I could sit in the corner and wear unflattering clothes and NOT be funny and disarmingly charming.
Oh! WHO ARE WE KIDDING HERE? It's hopeless. OF COURSE they want to be like me! How could they NOT? Oh. Woe is me.
Seriously though. People are watching us. Every minute.
All the world is a stage, my friend. Like it or not.
Who is watching YOU? What kind of example are YOU setting? Hmmmmm?
In real life:
Tonight I took Serena to her induction for Young Womens. Which is where The Mormons send you when you turn 12.
We were supposed to dress sporty. The theme was T.E.A.M. It stands for, "Together Everybody blah blah Somethin Somethin." It was inspirational.
Serena and I dressed like twinners so we could be the cutest of everyone.
But then I think she secretly didn't want to dress like me. I know because she told me. She is the only girl in the vicinity who feels that way...