Friday, January 14, 2011

Work It, Mama!

I am soooo destitute I can't even PAY attention... Badda Bing Badda Boom!

Cash is tight.  I'm suffering greatly.  I am being deprived basic necessities such as monthly facials, sushi three times weekly and my fancy, hippie yoga where everybody smells like patchouli, B.O. and free love!  Travesty.

So I got a REAL LIVE J-O-B!  My parent's gave it to me.  I go two days a week. 

My parents are custom home builders in Tucson.  They build AMAZING GA-BILLION dollar houses and also normal super nice houses.  My mom has wanted me to be involved but I've always resisted.  The family Biz employs my siblings, our spouses, a few cousins, lots of subs, a lovely office manager and now....MEEEEEEEEE.

I LOVE MY FAMILY!  So whenever they call from the field to ask a question I give the proper info and sign off with, "OK bye!  I love you!"

I even wrote memos to everyone that read *ahem*:

Please save gas reciepts for reimbursements and overall accounting purposes I will file them in my filing drawer where I am learning to file things, like gas reciepts and lighting fixture reciepts and such.


Love, Crystal

When my sis, Michelle, left the office I said,  "Have a great day!  I LOOOOVVEEE YUUOUUUU!"

She looked surprised and said, "I'm not really used to anybody in the office saying that to me..."


 Everybody loves to be loved.  And it's nice to hear "I love you" in the middle of the workday.  So I am taking it upon myself to impliment a strict "LOVE ONE ANOTHER POLICY" in the workplace. 

I made sure to introduce my very intelligent, logical, somewhat serious but also hilarious brother to the new policy.

 "I looooveeee you, Joe!"  I shouted with giggles and glee.  (I was only slightly more obnoxious than necessary.)

He looked uncomfortable and mumbled something unintelligable.  Don't worry, he'll get used to it.

My husband called and said all kinds of filthy, sexy suggestions and stuff.  I responded with, "K.  Will do.  I love yoouuuuuu!"

Yesterday I answered phones and only hung up on 3 clients!  (Just kidding, Dad.)  I hung up on 3 subcontractors.  It's not my fault!  That phone is tricky!  All the flashing lights and buttons are confusing.

I called a sub my very own self, which is a great source of pride.  I was terribly delightful and cheerful and pleasant.

I said, "Hi there, [plumbing supplier guy]!  It seems we are one toilet short at the Blah blah blah residence.  Would you send me a fax with the bid and I'll have someone pick the toilet up by the end of the day?"

He was so nice.  I felt like a Big Girl talking all professional-like.

...Then he asked for the cell phone number of one of my co-workers...

"Sure!" I said.  I proceeded to rattle off MY OWN CELL NUMBER!  Whoops.

My cell rang and we were both confused.  I wanted to ask Mr Plumber Dude where he had gotten my number...

Then we both laughed.  Then my parents laughed.  And I felt like an imbecile.

You can see I am wearing my fake, smart chick glasses.  I wanted to look the part of a serious professional with bad eyesight. mom made me take them off...

So now I'll have a little more cash!  Yay!  I'm super glad cuz I'm running low on new old Vintage stuff to write about... I need at least an extra $20 for a new dress.