Monday, December 13, 2010

Lovely Lunatic

"You said you would call!" were the last words Tom ever heard.

Betty didn't mean to kill him!  Honest!  But he did say he would call.

This was the dress Betty wore on their first and last date.  It is a 1950's Silk Soda Fountain Dress in Teal.  I purchased it for $22 and added the belt myself, as the original belt was used to strangle poor Tom and was confiscated during the investigation.

When Betty first saw Tom she just knew.  It's like I always say, When you know... you just KNOW.

When Tom first saw Betty he wondered how long it would take before she let him slide into home plate.

Betty was lovely.  Fair with unassuming golden ringlets and enormous blue eyes. 

"You sure are easy on the eyes," said Tom.  "What's your name, doll?"

"Betty Marie Lovelace,"  said Betty.

She blushed and shyly looked down at her feet.  The blush gave Tom the courage he needed to ask her to join him for a malt.

They met for that malt.  They shared it with two straws and conversed.

"You sure look pretty in that dress, Betty," said Tom.  "You look like a Christmas star or a beautiful snowflake!"

Tom was having a swell time until he noticed Betty's twitch.  Everytime she took a sip of their malt her eyes would twitch violently.  First the right.  Then the left.  The twitches were immediatly followed by a loud sniff that screwed up her entire face.

Tom tried to ignore Betty's twitch.  He hoped at least second base was available to him tonight...

He walked her home.

"Would it be alright if I held your hand, Betty Marie?" 

"Gee, Tom!  I've had a swell time with you tonight.  I'd really like that," smiled Betty. 

Then she involuntarily chirped like a bird.  It wasn't a loud chirp, mind you.  But a chirp nonetheless.

"Did you... just.... uh... chirp?"  asked Tom.

"Of course not, silly," giggled Betty. 

She chirped again.  Louder this time.  "CHIRP."

Tom tried to ignore the chirping, but became increasingly more uncomfortable.

Tom was relieved to finally reach Betty's front door.

"You can kiss me if you like, Tom. CHIRP! CHIRP!" said Betty.

Tom had the impulse to run but instead leaned in and kissed her quickly on the cheek.

She beamed.

"Well, I'll see ya around, Betty,"  said Tom.

"Aren't you going to call me?" asked Betty, looking discouraged.

"Sure," said Tom.  "Yeah.  I'll give you call."

Tom never called Betty.  Betty couldn't understand what had gone wrong.  So she called Tom.  She called him 7 times every hour.  She found out where he lived and left love letters in his mailbox.  Hundreds and hundreds of love letters. 

He refused to respond.

So Betty waited until she knew he was home alone. She let herself in.

"Do you remember this dress, Tom?"  she said maniacally.  "You kissed me, Tom!  You held my hand, Tom!  You said you would call, Tom!"

Betty was freakishly strong.  She wrestled Tom to the ground and secured her belt around his throat.  He thrashed around for a bit, but then he was still and peaceful.

"When you know... you just KNOW, Tom," said Betty.  "CHIRP!"

Poor Betty was committed and her clothes were confiscated and given to charity.

I wore Betty's dress to church yesterday.  I wanted to wear a colorful dress that would catch the attention of children.

I am the chorister for kiddie singing time for the next month.

"You look like a snowflake, Mama!" said Maya.

"I think you look like a Christmas star!" said Tyson.

I had SOOO much fun singing with the little ones!  I sang and sang until my singer was sore.  

I made a sugar cookie game with the names of children's primary songs on the backs of the paper cookies.  The children got to pick randomly and we sang the song written on the cookie.

Once there was a snowman, snowman, snowman
once there was a snowman, tall, tall, tall!
In the sun he melted, melted, melted melted
In the sun he melted, small, small, small