Friday, November 5, 2010

Paper Don't Grow On Trees

"Please make 75 copies of each of the marked pages in this book," said T-bone's teacher, who happens to be a dude in his early 30's with shoulder length hair.  (I know you automatically pictured a school marm in a thick brown cardi, so I thought I'd adjust the image in your head.  You're welcome.)

"Also, if you could cut these name tags using the cutting board it would be awesome," he said.

I went to the teacher's lounge/workroom and began my task of cutting.  I got there early enough to use the "good" cutter.  Everyone know the other one sucks and chops off random fingers.  My lucky day, I guess.

There were other moms in there and some teachers having a convo.  I didn't know them so I just eavesdropped.

"Well, I know my son's 3rd grade teacher ran out of paper already!  She has been buying paper for her class with her own money...  I'm just going to go to Costco and get some myself for the class..."

I was stunned and pissed!


Teachers aren't exactly rolling in dough, ya know.  (Hey!  dough and ya know rhyme!  FUN!)

I listened for another minute. 

I could bare it no longer.

"Teachers are buying paper THEMSELVES?!"  I piped up.

I think I startled them.  After they recovered they included me in the convo.

"Yes.  I used to teach a long time ago," said a school marm in a thick brown cardigan.  "I remember when we could just make as many copies as we wanted.  There were no computers then... *she chuckled*... But it was far less stressful for teachers.  Oh my!  I just dated myself, didn't I?"

"So how does it work?"  I asked.

"Well, teachers are given their alloted amount of paper and a code for the copy machine.  It clocks how many copies they are making."

I was SO UPSET that I accidentally made 75 copies of the WRONG PAGE!

This is the wrong page in question.  And, yes, I copied more than one.  I copied 75.  75!  During a paper shortage!  Paper don't grow on trees, ya know!

I have a friend that works in paper.  Michael Scott?  Do you know him?  He works for Dunder and Mifflin.    If you're reading this, Michael, hook my kid's school up with a sweet donation, would ya?  (He hangs out in my living room almost every night so we're pretty good friends... I think he'll contribute.)

I had to return to Mr. Long Hair and tell him I had made a mistake.

"I'll buy you some more paper," I said.

"Nah.  It's cool," he said. 

"No.  For real.  I will.  So how are you doin' on paper?" I asked.  "I just found out all about the paper allocation...".  

I felt very smart and informed.

"It's getting low.  I'm going to have to figure out a way to streamline it.  I mean, we HAVE to give the kids work!  How will we know if they are learning anything if we don't?"

I'm completely digusted!  Teachers shouldn't have to be stressing about freaking PAPER!!! Are you kidding me?!

Somebody tell me who is to blame here???  Who can I strangle?  Why is the public school system getting the shaft to this extent?

Do we not realize our children will RUN THIS COUNTRY (not to mention our nursing homes)  when they grow up?!

In other news, I am very excited that I made my very own monies with my very own sweat and blood.  I was paid yesterday and I bought this.  It's not for me. 

Maya's birthday is in a few weeks and I had no idea how to provide the pink bike with streamers she wanted.  TAA DAA! 

There's a really great dress at Anthropologie that I'm dying to own but I bought this instead 'cause that's what mommies do. 

I look really hot in that dress.  Sigh.