Monday, November 8, 2010

How To Wear The LRD

I can't resist an L.R.D.!  (Little Red Dress)  I have a few.  This is the latest addition.

Red is my very very favorite color!  I think it's a little shocking when a woman in a form fitting red dress walks into a room.   I try to be that woman as often as possible.

I recently found this little gem and almost died of happiness when I realized it was half price!

How could this fab lil dress have been homeless for so long as to merit the half off stamp?!  How did someone not snatch her up the moment she hit the racks?! 

I paid $14 for all this joy!!!!!!!

I think maybe women are a little intimidated by the LRD. 

"That dress really isn't my style," says the intimidated woman.  "It's just soooo.... red... it simply screams harlot!" 

Pish Posh! 

Instead of making dinner for my family, I have decided to play dress-up and show you how versitile is the LRD.  Soon, you too, will be clamoring to get your hands on your very own Little Red Dress.

Off we go.

Here we see the dress sans accessories.  Simple.  Slightly scandelous.  A nude shoe makes the legs seem to go on forever.  But they don't... they stop where everyone else's legs stop... right at the base of the buttock (in case you were wondering).  The shoe is a magic trick.

If you have a Rocker chick within just dying to express herself you can throw on a leather jacket, some funky boots and your air guitar. (That gnarly, squished up face I'm making is completely optional but adds a bit of flair.)

If you're a nerdy librarian at heart, I suggest a button up cardigan in a drab color and a small belt so as not to look like a total frump.  I also enjoy wearing fake glasses so as to fool the general population into believing I am far smarter than I am.  (How in the world did that stereotype come to exist?!  Why are folks with bad eye sight deemed more intelligent?... Weird.  Humans are wierd.)

If you feel the need to Cowgirl-Up all ya gotta do is throw on a hat and boots and pretend your fingers are pistols.  Fastest filanges in the West! 

As you can see, this dress is Boot Scootin' Boogie friendly. 

Last, but certainly not least is The Cholla.  Do you wanna bust out ur 9? A blue flannel and a red bandana will confuse local gang bangers and allow you the freedom of galavanting on ANYONE'S turf.

So there it is ladies!  No excuses.  You CAN wear the LRD!  You know you wanna.