Saturday, November 13, 2010

Haters Made Me Famous

My daughter, Serena, had a slumber party tonight to celebrate her 12th birthday. 

You'll notice the candles on the cake feature the numbers 3 and 5.  I felt purchasing the proper number would be a waste of money and precious resources.  I reused the candles from my husband's birthday in October.

I think all of my children will be turning 35 this year.  Another possibility is 53.  Frugality is an art.

I love to throw parties!  I love to be the coolest mom 'round town.

One little girl said, "You are SO much cooler than my mom!  She would NEVER throw a party like this!  I can't believe you let us stand on the table and play American Idol!"

Awesome.  Mission accomplished.

I invited one friend for myself to the party.


Dottie is my most intelligent friend.  Has Jennifer Anniston hair.  Is a college professor of Ethics.  Makes me laugh until I literally double over.  And bought me this insanely PERFECT shirt as a gift for Serena's birthday.

I mean, I don't consider myself famous but far be it for me to argue with a college professor of Ethics! 

Dottie gets me on the deepest level and likes me anyway.

Dottie is a hypochondriac.  I am forever assuring her she does not have a tumor.

I am narcissistic.  She is forever assuring me I'm not fat.

We don't care about petty gossip and insecure Hater women.  We are far too busy concerning ourselves with... ourselves.  It works out well for everyone involved.

When I throw a party I let all hell break loose.  I don't plan games and structured activities.  Instead I allow the children to run wild.  They break social norms left and right under my roof. 

Tonight they danced on the coffee table, ran up and down the stairs, played hide and seek, pretended to be contestants and judges on American Idol and hung from the ceiling like monkeys.

Dottie calls my parties "organic".  I like that.  No added chemicals or preservatives.

Hey.  Let's play "Where's Crystal", shall we?

I soooo don't wanna clean up this mess.

Happy Birthday, Serena!  I love you, baby.