"If you make me sing a solo I will vomit on my shoes," I said.
"I didn't expect you to say THAT," said Lori.
Lori is the music director for the ward.
For those of you who don't speak Mormon, "ward" is not a term referring to a quandrant in a mental institution. "Ward" is the congregation we attend. Mormons are divided up geographically.
Lori would like me to participate in the ward choir.
I went to one practice.
There was one soprano in the lot who could actually carry a tune in a bucket. Slightly painful.
Yesterday Lori said,
"You're coming to choir."
I said,
"Ummm... actually I think I'm going to go home. Three hours of church is a long time."
"Choir is only 40 minutes. I'll take you home."
"That would equal 3 hours and 40 minutes of church without a break."
"You're staying." She said with a chuckle.
"Nah."
"Um. Yeah. You're staying."
"My kids like me to have lunch with them. It's a very important Sunday tradition."
To add insult to injury the choir conductor came over and said, "Crystal, we NEED you!"
"She's coming," said Lori with a confident chuckle.
When no one was looking I ditched choir.
Today I got an e-mail from Lori entitled "YOU!"
She wrote,
"You can't give me NOTHING! You have to give me SOMETHING! You must come at least every other week... you can enjoy a warm fuzzy luncheon with your family on your own time..."
Lori is a very loyal friend. She has defended me when I have not been present to defend myself. I've known her since we were 10 years old and her brother was in love with me when we were teens. He was very nice.
It seems I will be attending choir regularly. I DO like to sing. Far be it for me to hide my light under a bushel or to hide my light at my house with a bucket of fried chicken.
YOU HEAR THAT, LOREO? I'm in.
PS I was gonna sing you something but I haven't showered yet today so maybe I'll sing something later... but prob'ly not.
