Monday, June 28, 2010

OH my Heck!

I am in Provo, Utah.  The Land of Oh My Heck Gosh Darn You!

I graduated from Brigham Young University with a B.S. in International Marketing.

I couldn't relate to the white kids so I mostly hung out with the brown kids.  All of my best friends were Polynesian.  I learned to speak Pigeon:  fresh off da boat bra...

I attended the Lamanite Ward, which basically means "Mormon BYU Congregation for Brown People That would Prefer to Hang Out With Brown People than Try To Fit In With The White Kids in Thier Geographical Vicinity..."

My poly friends and I danced in Hip Hop clubs all over Utah.  We danced in the street and on the stage.

We blared Biggie Smalls and Two Pac from our vehicles and bobbed our heads like we owned the world.

We felt like we did.

I drove an old red Porsche 944 and was known as the The Girl With the Red Porsche.  My car was my baby.  She had cracked leather interior and the air conditioner didn't work and neither did the stereo, but she hardly ever broke down on me.  I never complained!

I often went Salsa dancing alone and found random partners to spin me around the dance floor all night.  I never even asked the name of my dancing partner.  I didn't care who he was.  All I needed was a warm body who knew how to handle my electric hips and a pair of smokin' hot stilletos.

I was called La Bailadora.  The Dancer.  They didn't care to know my name either.

A woman once asked me to dance with her husband so I could teach him to handle HER.

There were no keggers in my college experience.  No Frat parties.  No one night stands.  No drugs.  No skimpy clothing.  No unkempt appearance.  No inappropriate verbage.   These things meant expulsion from a private religious university my parents could not afford.

I had roomates report me to The Authorties for immodest dress and immoral behavior. (Puh Leaze!)  I stood before a group of somber men and pled my case.  I was warned and released from custody.

I ran every night at midnight in the snow or rain to clear my head.

I grew intellectually.

I grew spiritually.

I was happy here.  I was SO happy here.

My Provo experience was a Freedom and Independence I had never known. 

I laughed a lot and danced a lot and dated a lot and learned a lot.

It is here I met my husband and began The Rest of My Life.