"Why are you wearing THAT?!" I was asked by a four year old dancer.
"A) Because I'm trying to break the stringent rules society has put on us as a race. The HUMAN race. I'm breaking those chains today, my friend....
B) It's FUN. And FUN people are SEXY people.
C) Because I CAN.
D) My friend, D, double-dog dared me," I said.
"Oh," she replied.
She looked terrified.
.
I laughed maniacally.
I look like I have actual HOOVES in this pic.
I'm sitting in the balcony of the Pima West Theatre watching dress rehearsal.
Some of these dancers have the Stage Presence of a dead fish. Stinks. There is nothing so awful as watching a straight faced performer with dead eyes. BOOOOO!
I don't care WHAT you're doin' on stage it is ALL ABOUT STAGE PRESENCE. It's not the most talented people that get noticed. It's those that draw the eye with inner beauty and energy.
I'm vastly entertained as I watch power struggles between professional dancers and their choreographer.
Tension runs high. There is yelling and swearing and anger and drinking.
Yes. DRINKING! Anger and frustration inspires dancers to drink and show up the next day hung over and ready for a fight. They tell me these things because I look insane and they know their secret is safe with me. I truly enjoy these lil chats.
You would never guess as you attend a professional ballet that the beautiful, poised dancers, both male and female, spent the week tearing each other's heads off and drinking multiple "40's" on their couches.
DRAMA!
Guess where else drama is found at dress rehearsal?
STAGE MOMS!
I don't really associate with the Stage Moms.
It's not that I think I'm too good... It's that KNOW I'm too good... Just kidding.
No. I'm not.
I'm too good to involve myself in petty drama over who did or did not help sew tu-tu trim and who said what to her wanna be prima bellerina daughter and who is TOTALLY ON THE RAG.
Why you gotta have a sour puss, Stage Mom?
I kinda wish the Stage Moms WOULD drink, ya know? Loosen 'em up a bit. I'd love it if they got silly and joined me in booty shakin with a Donkey Bottom Head. Instead, many of them give me crusty, stuffy looks as I walk by in my metallic pants and pink mesh gloves. I just smile. SHOW ME YOUR TEETH!
Don't hate me, baby. ENJOY ME!
I'm not snotty to the Stage Moms. I smile and say random things like, "Sewing tu-tus kinda sucks, huh?" or "Do you like my donkey? I sewed his mane on myself!" or "If you keep making that raunchy face it'll stay that way...". Then I walk away. I don't wanna get involved.
I've got PLENTY of drama as a Mama. I got no need to invite more.
I'm REALLY REALLY picky about who I chose to befriend. I just don't think most people make the cut.
I prefer to chat with the artists both young and Pro. I prefer to wear Donkey Bottom heads, sew tu-tus in the balcony surrounded by little boys in Mini-Micheal Jackson attire (which is a bit ironic given Micheal's alleged history) and dress in 80's inspired outfits just 'cause.
Here's my advice for the day:
A) On the stage of life don't be a dead fish! ENTERTAIN ME!
B) Drama is only fun when it's not your own.
C) Fun people are sexy people.
D) HEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
