Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Dots And Denim Romper -

Consuption is a disease.  Consumption is a 5,000 year old illnes that killed 80% of it's victims.  Hippocrates warned his medical students against treating those with consumption for they would surely DIE!  (And a dead patient is bad for business.) 

Consumption was so named because it devoured it's victims.  We now refer to consumption as Tuberculosis.

Consumption is a disease with which I struggle.  I experience fever, hot sweats, shortness of breath, and irrational speech and thoughts.

Today Sydni and I went out for sushi and a little shopping.  FUN!

But then I saw the object of my desire.  GASP!  A DOTS AND DEMIN ROMPER!  (Check out link above... it doesn't look like much but I know a diamond in the rough when I see one!)

Conspicuous Consumption!  I'm straight ILL, yo!  It will be the end of me.

I checked the price.  GAH!  150 bones. 

"Ok Syd, help me out here.  What can I eliminate from my grocery bill so I can afford this romper?!" I was wild-eyed.  " I NEED it!"

"Uh......"  she said.

My heart raced.  "If I make beans again this week I won't have to buy meat.  Meat is expensive.  We can go another week without laundry detergent, right?  How about dog food?  Those dogs are getting FAT!  Have you noticed?  The kids won't DIE if I skip out on milk and cheese, right.  Maybe we should just cut out dairy altogether!""

"You're crazy." She laughed.

"I'm serious, Syd!  I would look SO hot in that!  I'd go all 50's pin-up, ya know?  Red lips, soft hair, smokin' hot red shoes, huge sunglasses!!!"

"Yeah!  Oh!  You should totally get it!  You'd fill out that romper and it would be BOMB!" she said.

I left the store without the romper.

Alas... it makes no sense to squander away valuable resources that are needed elsewhere! Coveting is WRONG!  But she would fit me like a glove.  And no one would look as good with her as I.  If only for a time we would COMPLETE each other!

I find myself scheming and calculating.  I will program my subconscious to come up with a viable solution!

I know I will lay in bed and make myself crazy thinking about how I will procure my narcotic.  (I realize I have a serious problem... It could be worse though.)  I will feverishly recall every detail of our meeting until I doze off.

I will talk to her. "Romper, I realize we cannot be together now as we would like.  But please don't abandon me for a lesser companion.  WAIT for me!"

Tomorrow I will model the romper in question for you.  Only then will I be in temporary remission from my illness.   Consumption is no laughing matter.

I miss you, Romper!  We will be together soon!

Romper is such a HAPPY word.  I can just see us now.  Romping about town with nary a care in the world.  Ah, yes, a romp in the park is just what the doctor ordered!  ROMPER. The very word brings a smile to my face.

Hippocrates was right to avoid treating those of us with this particular malady.  We are a lost cause. *cough*