SYDNI THREW MY PUPPY'S POOP IN THE BACK OF A STRANGER'S TRUCK AND TOOK OFF!!!! AND I LET HER!!!! 'CAUSE I WAS DRIVING!!!!!! (I'll tell ya the story.).So I pull up to Tara's house with my new pup.
"Why the hell did you bring that thing here!?" she says. "You KNOW I hate animals!"
"Yeah, but I thought you might like THIS animal," I say. "Seriously, T, look how CUTE SHE IS! Plus I'm potty training her and I couldn't leave her at home."
"If that thing poops in my salon I'm gonna be PISSED!""She won't. And don't you feel GUILTY saying you hate animals?! I mean, you say like it's perfectly ok to be a dog hater. What went WRONG in your childhood, T?"
"Nothing went wrong. We just never had animals. I think they STINK!" She says looking at poor lil Roxy.
"You know she can hear you, right?"
"Whatever. Animals lovers are dumb. I don't get it. It's like, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DOG!"
"How is it that you had 4 kids but you can't handle animals? Kids are SO much WORSE!" I say. "They crap EVERYWHERE!"
"NOBODY CARES ABOUT OUR KIDS EITHER!" she says. "When people don't have kids and you talk about your kids NOBODY CARES! It's the same with dogs."
She has a point.
If I'm with a childless person I rarely talk about my kids. If I do I notice the eyes glazing over...
The whole time Tara is talking her kids are fawning all over little Roxy. "I wish we had a dog like yours, But our mom HATES dogs," says Tara's daughter, Bleu.
2 minutes later Roxy pees in Tara's salon. I think Tara might kill me. I clean the urine.
Sydni takes Roxy outside so she can go poop. (So ROXY can go poop, you see... Sydni has been potty trained.)
Syd and I have fun chatting with T. Then it's time to go.
We get in the car.
"Hey, Syd," I say, "what did you do with Roxy's poop? I don't see a trash can anywhere." So I look around and notice the neighbor has a nice truck in the driveway.
Sydni still hasn't responded to my question regarding the whereabouts of the dog's feces.
"YOU THREW IT IN THE TRUCK?! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T THROW IT IN THE BACK OF THAT TRUCK?!" I exclaim.
"I didn't know where else to put it! YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING! If I had left it on the streeet Tara would have had a FIT!"
I peel out.
We laughed the whole way home (BECAUSE WE ARE TRASHY AND DON'T RESPECT OTHERS.)
(Tara's poor neighbor woke up to a nasty surprise... Sorry, guy...)
