Thursday, February 25, 2010


"Why are you laying in the street, my love?"  I asked T-bone.

"Because I'm sad," came his reply.

Makes sense.  When I'm sad I want to lay in the road too.

"Why are you sad, baby?"

"Because the girls are just playing with Maya and telling her how geat she is but they are not telling me how great I am."

"Honey, the girls are teaching Maya to ride her bike.  They are trying to encourage her.  They already KNOW how great you are!"

Huge tears rolled down his face.  "They are also making fun of my girlfriend."

Ah ha.

"I see," I said.  "SERENA! Come here!"

My sassy eleven year old sauntered to me from across the street with hands on hips.

"Were you making fun of Leah?"  I asked.

"Yeah.  I don't like her," said Serena. "She said I had a big round butt."

"You DO have a big, round butt," I said.  "It's a GOOD thing. Next time say thank you."

She laughed.

"What did you say about her, Serena?  Can you see how upset Tyson is?  You have really offended him."

"I said she had a round, flat face that looks like a plate."

A plate?  Creative.  Silent point for her.

"Yeah, well she has really long blonde hair.  It's kinda prettier than yours, Serena," said Tyson.  Then he quickly added, "No offense." 

Ouch.  Silent point for T.

"Mom, Tyson holds Leah's hand at school.  They hold hands, Mom!  Isn't he a little YOUNG for that?"  she asked.

Hell if I know!  Nobody gave me a handbook on romantic 6 year old boys and hand holding.

"Tyson, is this true?"  I asked.

"Yes.  And I'll still hold her hand even if you tell me not to," said T.

Oh boy.  Here we go.

"Don't tell Dad," he said.  "He'll get mad."

Ah how I love the game of good cop, bad cop.  It works well for us.

Serena piped up with, "He also said Leah was HOT!"

Tyson became defensive.  "Yeah, but then I said I just thought she was cute!"

Such passion!  Where oh where did he get THAT from?

Tyson continued, "And Mom,  the girls were singing that song I hate.  The one that says 'Tyson and Leah sitting in a tree K-I-F-F-I-N-G."

F-F?  Man I love my job!  I didn't smile. 

"Serena?"  I said.  "Do I treat you with respect?"


"I expect you to treat your brother with the same respect I give you.  Do you understand me?"  I asked.

She nodded.

"Yeah!" said Tyson.  "Just because I'm the only boy doesn't mean you can't respect me!"  Then he turned to me.  "I need a brother.  Why can't you just have another baby so I can have a brother?  Just go buy one or something!"

Sigh. Oh how I love this boy!