Saturday, December 12, 2009


I rarely say no to my children.  I spoil them rotton. I'm told I do them a great disservice by giving them everything they want in life.  WHATEVER!  Life sucks.  When they grow up they can experience the cold hard world telling them NO everyday.  While they are in my care I say YES YES YES!

If Maya wants a Barbie on a Tuesday and I have an extra $10.  I say YES!  If T-bone needs a G.I. Joe because he had a bad Thursday I say YES!  If I need a pair of thigh-high boots to feel extra sassy for no reason I say YES! HA!

I realize we're in a ressession.  I'm doing my part to stimulate the economy.  You would be wise to do the same...

What happens to all the toys my children accumulate?  PLAYROOM.  I let them go nuts in the playroom.  I just chuck the toys that wander out right back in and I shut the door.  There are always at least a dozen children at my place.  I often banish them to Toy Heaven.

Every once in a while I must purge Toy Heaven.  It's quite an ordeal.  I acquire emotional attatchments to the toys and hate to give any of them up. 

The playroom gets completely insane if I don't step in once and a while.  Do you see how one of my little ones left bread and butter on the bed?!  (Ok... so I totally staged that.  But I really do find the weirdest stuff when I clean the playroom.  Rotton apple cores, crushed Fruit Loops, stale crackers, sippy cups with curdled milk.... the list goes on.)

I tied my hair up Auntie Jemima style, which means I'm serious. (Plus I thought it would be cute for my blog totally works, don'tcha think?)

I armed myself with diet Coke and a friendly yellow Tee shirt.  (You'd be surprised how many people say "hello" to me when I wear this shirt.  Old men especially... SO sweet!  They must really like the color yellow...)

I slaved for HOURS in this pig pen.  Tore a hole in the knee of my jeans from crawling around for so long.

You would not BELIEVE how many naked Barbies I found!  There must have been 30!  Naked as a jay bird! 

Some moms don't let their daughters play with Barbies because of the negative body image they portray.  I can see their point.  Barbie has got a ROCKIN bod!  Her BOOBS are perky and her BUTT is solid!  (Just filling my boob and butt quota for the day... Don't want to disappoint my fans ;). )

One of these days I'll write a blog entitled "Why Barbie is Bad".  Until then I'll do my best to emulate her perfect physique.

The picture below is where I realize that in order to take cute pics of me cleaning the playroom I must actually clean the playroom...  I felt defeated before I began.

While having my pity party on the floor I came in contact with this Incredible Hulk fist.  When I punch something it says, "DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY! YOU WON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY!"  Perfect.  I can conquer this mountain!


This is all the crap I'm getting rid of!  Gonna sell it to Buffalo kids tomorrow.  I'll make a small fortune.