Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Eternal Violet And A Ghost Story

I hoped I would make it before she took her first breath.  I drove all night to get to her but was too late.

My mother and I raced from Tucson to Las Vegas.  Coral called at 9pm.  We were on the road by 10.

We were worried about my sister.  She was all alone!  (She had her husband and full hospital staff at her disposal but WE were not there!  How could she possibly deliver a child without us!? This would never do!)

It is safe to say we were freaking out. 

We felt my grandmother. 

Do you know the feeling of knowing someone is staring at you?  When you turn you may catch the staring person.  Or the watcher my avert her eyes.  But you know she was looking at you.  You felt her.

I felt my grandmother looking at me.  Watching over my mother and I as we drove.  When I looked I could not see her.  But she was certainly there.  I felt her.

"I know we are not with Coral yet but I feel that many of our unseen family members are with her. She will be okay," I said.  I suddenly knew it was true.

My mother shivered a little and gasped.  "Oh!  I just felt my mom! For a second it was like her hand was on mine!  ....What day is today?" asked my mother.

"Thursday," I said.

"What's the date?"

"May 24th."

She drew in a sharp breath.

"My mother died one year ago today," she said.

Half an hour later we received a text from Coral's husband. 

Baby Violet Winter was born 15 minutes before midnight. 

Violet was born on the one year anniversary of my Abuelita's death.

I cannot be convinced my grandmother did not have a hand in Violet's delivery.

When Violet was at long last in my arms I was overwhelmed. She was perfection.  Silky black hair.  Olive skin.  Large eyes.  Tiny ears.  Long fingers.

Her eyes moved back and forth beneath her sleeping lids.

"She's dreaming," said her starry-eyed daddy.  "What could she be dreaming about?"

"She's dreaming of the world she just left," said my mother.  "We dream of memories.  The only memories she has are those of the place she once lived."

The birth of my precious niece has reminded me of the eternal nature of things.

We came from another world. 

We have always been.

We will always be.

Our deceased loved ones watch over us always.

There is a divine purpose for our existence.  Life is a test.

Our life on Earth is but a sleep and a forgetting.

I held Violet many times before returning to my own home tonight.  I could not cease staring at her perfect little face.  I watched her fuss and squirm and try to make sense of this new body.

I realize I am still, at the age of 35, trying to make sense of this new body.  I am forever reminding my hands to be of service to others. I am teaching my legs to run and not be weary and walk and not faint. I am schooling my tongue to be kind and never speak guile. 

I am a slow learner. 

My abuelita lived a rich life. The winds of time welcomed her last breath as it joined them. She said goodbye to her own vessel of clay with a final sigh.

One day I will do the same.

We all will.

I hope that when my mortal probation is done I will look back on my earthly experience with a peaceful heart.

I hope that my life Here will be one of constant spiritual progression, constant concern for others and an ever increasing abundance of Love for all those whom I come in contact.

I hope to wax confident before my Maker.

It is a difficult and treacherous journey with great Joy and Love to be relished.

Welcome To The World Little Violet.