Monday, April 16, 2012

Dinner And Dairy Queen

Me:  Eat your broccoli, Tyson.  And your mashed potatoes...

Tyson:  I can't.

Me:  Why?

Tyson:  I don't want all this food to cover up my six pack.

My vanity has RUINED this child.  RUINED!  Monkey see monkey do.

Shortly after dinner one of the girls suggested we go to Dairy Queen for FHE.

Tyson was suddenly not so concerned about his six-pack as he had previously been. 

"GO GET YOUR SHOES AND MAKE SURE TO GO POTTY IF YOU HAVE TO!!!!" I shouted to the troops.  "I am NOT pulling over!!!"

I always have to remind them to go to the bathroom before we leave the house.  Else one of them will surely force us to pull into the closest smelly McDonald's in order to find relief.

"WAAHHHHH," cried Maya tromping down the stairs and landing in a dramatic, tearful heap.  "Bella was MEAN TO MEEEEE! ...Because I was in her room and I stole her mustache!"

"You took my mustache off of my Bob Marley poster, Maya!! I told you not to touch it!"

"You hit my chin!"

"I didn't MEAN to hit your chin!  I was just trying to get you not to touch my stuff!"

Why oh why can we not just hop into the car for a happy little ride to The DQ without conflict?

I became the judge and jury of this unfortunate incident.  Bella was, indeed, too rough.  She was remorseful right away.  Bella is my tender heart bear once she realizes her blunder.

I charged her with Unnecessary Roughness.

Bella had to be punished for being unkind to her thieving little sister.

Bella's ipod was confiscated by Papa Bear.  I am the good cop and do not do well at punishing.  I always cave.  I am a cave woman.  You can tell by my wild hair when I wake in the morning time.

On the way back from DQ Bella was hopped up on half a peanut buster parfait (as I made her throw away the other half... DQ's serving sizes are ridiculous dino droppings.). 

Bella began telling original jokes.

Bella:  knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Bella:  Ipod.

Me:  Ipod who?

Bella:  Daddy took my ipod away and hid it in his underwear drawer.

Papa Bear was not amused.

The End