Saturday, March 24, 2012

Papa Bear Protects Mama Bear. Mama Bear Protects Baby Bear at the Hunger Games Premier

My Mormon temple makes me feel all zen and peaceful.  I go there to contemplate Eternity.  I go there to pray and meditate.

I read in this month's Psychology Today that mediation actually increases the gray matter in the brain increasing our ability to cope with stress calmly.

I'm making a funky face in the above pic.  My kids were being monkeys off screen.  I'm a Mama Bear.  That's my growly Mama Bear face.

Papa Bear likes to call me Mama Bear. 

He says,  "You want me to get you a drink?"

"Yes, please," I say when I want a drink.

"What size?"

"Mama Bear size," I say.  Medium is Mama Bear size. 

Meditation is one way Mama bear keeps from smacking around all the baby bears when they act like monkeys. 

My Mormon temple (which is where I was married) is a safe haven for me.  I am so full of love and peace when I emerge from that sacred House of God someone could light me on fire and I wouldn't get too very upset.  I would have an eternal perspective on being lit up like that.  Surely it is for my profit and learning!

Above we see my expression is free from Pistol and Vinegar.  Spending time in the temple sucks all the Pistol and Vinegar out of me and replaces it with rainbows and forget-me-nots.

Very soon after this picture was taken my family and I went to In-N-Out Burger.  It is a 2 hour drive back to Tucson.  I wanted a light lemonade.  In-N-Out has them.

I opened my door in the parking lot.  A man shouted at me.

A MAN SHOUTED  AT MEEEE!  Looked me right in the eye and SHOUTED!!  Can you believe this crap?!

"HEY!  WATCH IT!" he shouted with wild eyes.

I looked him in the eye. (I like to intimidate whenever possible with solid eye contact.)   I continued to open my care door so as to exit my own vehicle the way people do when they desire a light lemonade from a burger joint.


My children later said, "Mama, he yelled at you like you were a DOG!  Like how daddy yells at Lady when she pees in the playroom!  He was a crazy man!"

I suddenly lost my temple cool.




Papa Bear emerged from the car and puffed his chest.  It's a big chest.  It bench presses roughly a ga-billion pounds daily.



Crazy man looked visibly shaken when my Bear Man stepped out of the vehicle and started toward him.  Crazy man was big.  But it was enlarged fat cells that filled his physique.  He was a quivering mass of loud nerves and fear.  Yet he refused to back down verbally.

The two argued in the parking lot for a moment.

They were barking and baring teeth.

Crazy man remained seated.  In Man Speak that means he knew my man could easily mop the floor with him.

I could see the blood boiling between the men.  Neither wanted to back down for pride.  Nature wanted to run it's violent course. 

My husband would have loved to knock his block off.  It's been a long time since he has knocked anyone out.  I know he misses those days. ;)

But how humiliating for grown men to get in a fist fight in the parking lot of the In-N-Out Burger! 

My husband was left unsatisfied as I pulled him away.

When we returned with my light lemonade Crazy Man had gone.

I'm grateful that the peace of the temple prevented my hot headed man to refrain from killing another with his bare bear hands yesterday.  Had it been any other day WHO KNOWS what might have transpired!

It's really too bad we can't just settle things the old fashioned way anymore. 

It's too bad because later yesterday I took my girls to the Hunger Games Premier.

We lined up 3 hours before the midnight showing.


Bella and her friend, Jessica, wore Hunger Games t-shirts, socks and Mockingjay medallion necklaces.  You see me in the middle in comfy middle of the night movie sweats.

 The girls talked of nothing but this event for weeks.  We were all giddy with excitement.  There was squealing and shrieking, clasping of hands and jumping up and down... and you should have seen THE GIRLS!  They were WAY worse than me.

When the movie began Bella and Jessica were beside themselves.  They had read the book 4 times each and acquired posters of the hunky Peeta in question for their bedrooms. 

They giggled a little too much and squealed a bit too loudly.  Jessica actually began hyperventilating a bit.  No joke.  Her breathing got shallow, quick and scary.  I feared she might faint or burst into tears.

I thought of women fainting at the sight of Elvis Presley.  She was like that.

A grumpy 35-ish year old man in a ball cap and sweatshirt kept turning to glare at my charges.  I kept my steady glare on him every time he turned his head.  I gave him scary eye contact of the don't mess with us variety.

The girls continued to twitter like little mockingjays.  They could not contain their excitement!  Sitting next to them was EXCITING!  I was 11 years old again and GIDDY!  GIDDY ABOUT A FICTIONAL BOY KISSING A FICTIONAL GIRL!  Giddy about children murdering each other for food.

My heart raced with anticipation.  I could not WAIT for the love to develop!  OOOOOO PEEEEETAAAA! 


When Rue was killed, Bella and Jessica starting CRYING!  Real tears!  They were sniffling and sobbing softly in their popcorns.  It was a sad sad time.

Amid my whirlwind the 35-ish year old man finally turned around and said,


I leaned right over to him and spoke loudly two inches from his ear,

"They're just excited, man.  They're not old and jaded, like you and me.  Relax."

I then told the girls to settle down, to be fair.

Mama Bear protected Baby Bears.  Stood up and defended against a man with a stick up his....whatever.   It is the way of things.

It is too bad so sad we live in a world rampant with people too uptight to have fun and appreciate the joy of youth.

It is too bad we encounter folks more concerned about their vehicles than how they treat other human beings. So sad.

I wish all the grumpies in the world would join me in the temple and partake of that peace.  We would all be so kind and nice and loving.

Such is not the case though.

Luckily, I have extra brains from all the meditation and can laugh it off without pulling out my Pistols.

Although, to be quite honest, I had several vivid fantasies about kicking the back of Grumpy Movie Man's Head.