Saturday, February 11, 2012

My New Tattoos

Here is a photo of me and my man on a special, romantic Valentine's date.




















You can see how terribly elated we are by the maniacal look in our eyes.




















Okay.  I'll level with ya.  My man don't like to be on the flash bulb side of a camera. And I'm glad of that.

What in the world would I do with some show pony man who loved posing for the camera?  I couldn't deal with a man like that. Nope.  I'd be like, "Dude!  Quit posing for the camera all the time.  Get OVER yourself.  It's unattractive."

I'm feeling pretty sassy today.  Guess why.

I GOT TWO NEW TATTOOS!!!!

Here is another picture of me.  I am modeling the tats for your benefit.  But you can't really see them in this picture.

























Here is a close up for ya.




















Those are my wrists.  They look really weird all close up like this.  What if those were my legs?  EWWWWWW!  Those would be some jacked up legs, man.  All vein-y and pale with a jarring shape to behold.  You have to admit I have good veins for donating blood.  Not that I ever do.

I got these sparkle tats at Imagen Hair Salon in Tucson.  They are all the rage, you know.  They last, like, 5-7 days.

I GET TO ENJOY MY HAPPY VALENTINE'S TATTOOS FOR FIVE TO SEVEN WHOLE DAAAAAYSSSS!!!  All the girls at the salon were wearing them.  When in Rome, baby.

I'm SOOO EXCITED about my wrist tats that I can't stop STARING at them.  I just stare and stare and care and share.  Like the Care Bears.  When they say CARE BEARS STARE!  And then magic love light comes beaming out of their chubby bellies and they save the day.

I don't save the day AT ALL with MY belly light.

But I did accidentally drop approximately 10 kernels of popcorn down my shirt as I was watching a movie tonight.  The kernels fell all the way down to my tummy and stuck there.  I had to just leave them.  Digging for them in public was out of the question.  As was leaving the sub par, disappointing movie for five minutes to remove them.  They made a home stuck to my abdomen for the duration.

We watched The Vow.

I was so hoping for it to make me cry.

But did I cry?

DID I?

Not one single tear.

WHAT KIND OF CRAPPY LOVE STORY LEAVES A SAPPY WOMAN DRY-EYED?!

Lame.

That Tatertot Channing and that Rachael chick just didn't have chemistry.  I didn't believe a word of it.

I'm glad my man and I have LOADS of chemistry.  WE should have starred in that movie!

My man and I got a whole entire SCIENCE LAB of chemistry.  We got it goin' ON with beakers and microscopes and lab coats, baby!  EXPERIMENTATION is the name of the game.  OH YEAH.

Mmmk.  I seriously have no idea what the H I am talking about.  Somebody stop me.  One can make ANYTHING sound naughty.  Even microscopes.

I've got to go prepare my lesson for the little children at church tomorrow.  I must bid adieu.

Parting is such sweet sorrow...  blah blah blah... til it be morrow...

I will leave you with my signature hand on hip pose and wish you all a happy Sunday.

God bless us everyone. ~Tiny Tim