"Beyond the sun... That's where he is," said my Tia Leticia with a small sad smile.
And then she began to sing me a song in Spanish about what is found beyond the sun.
My Tia Leticia's son is found beyond the sun. Moses only lived to be three years old. He was taken in a terrible accident.
I remember that day vividly. I remember the horrific wailing of many adults and the thick pain that enveloped us all. I was twelve at the time.
I spent 2 hours tonight chatting with my Tia. She gave me a Coke Zero. We sat on her couch. We talked about family. Marriage. Temptation. Love. Loss. Pain. Sacrifice. God. Heaven. Dreams. Death. She told me several very dirty jokes. I laughed without remorse. This is how we do.
I actually have two aunts that have lost sons in terrible accidents. My dad's sister, Jean, has also suffered the loss of her son, Roger.
Every night when I kneel down in prayer I remember my aunts who have lost their baby boys.
I remember them because the only calling in which I care to excel in this life is that of a Mother.
And so I pray for the mothers in my life who have suffered beyond my comprehension. I pray for their peace and comfort.
I then beg God to protect my babies and never take them from me. I beg and plead and promise with all the fervor I can muster.
I weary God with my hopes He will surround my children with numberless concourses of armed angels to protect them as they stumble through this veil of tears.
My aunts, Jean and Leticia, are unsung heroes.
These women have experienced a mother's worst nightmare. My aunts have experienced my worst nightmare. My blood runs cold at the thought of such a possibility.
How could I keep living were I they?
And yet they do. They live for those of their children still Here. They continue on bravely smiling into the sun in hopes of catching a glimpse of what lies beyond.
"I love Jesus," Letty said tonight. "I don't go to church. I'm not perfect. But I love Jesus. Do you know the song 'What a friend I have in Jesus' ?"
I nodded.
"I always say that when I get reincarnated I hope to come back as a big negrita with a beautiful voice so I can sing that song in a baptist church."
We laughed at the thought of her coming back as a large black woman with strong singing pipes. We laughed that she doesn't really believe in reincarnation.
"I love that song," she said. "When I sing it I feel like I can fly away."
I went home tonight and looked at the lyrics. Tears flowed freely down my face.
What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.
Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised
Thou wilt all our burdens bear;
May we ever, Lord, be bringing
All to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright, unclouded,
There will be no need for prayer—
Rapture, praise, and endless worship
Will be our sweet portion there.
Her humility makes my heart ache. Her faith inspires me. The goodness I feel from her fills my heart with gratitude for her presence in my life.
That she sings "Who will all our sorrows share?" and looks to The Savior fills me with The Spirit of Comfort.
That she sings "We should never be discouraged" with trials and trouble if we only take it to the Lord in prayer, forces me to repent for any ingratitude in my own heart.
How dare I be discouraged when she is not.
"I am so grateful," she said "For the time I had with Moses."
She reminds me he is waiting for her beyond the sun.
She tells me she knows he is a guardian angel for her two living children.
I believe my cousins, Moses and Roger, protect all of us who love them.
They are unencumbered by fallible mortal bodies as we are.
Moses and Roger have gone before us. Valiant spirits preparing to lead us into eternity.
I believe there is a special place in Heaven for my aunts. The trial they have endured here with faith and strength and Love will be rewarded.
I needed spiritual guidance tonight after speaking with my aunt. My heart was broken and confused.
There is strength and power found in scripture.
The following is what spoke to me.
Genesis 2:7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul.
Job 33:The spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life
John 1:4-5 In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; And the darkness comprehended it not.
John 5:He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life... [and] is passed from death unto life.
Jacob 7:25 the time passed away with us...and also our lives passed away with us,as it were unto us a dream...
John 10:28 ...I give unto them eternal life
Mark 8:35 For whosoever will save his life for my sake shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake... shall save it.
Beyond the sun is found eternal life.
