Wiener Boy

"I drew my wiener!  ...Hey Maya's mom!  I drew my 100 year old wiener!  Look!"


Not 15 minutes ago I was volunteering in Maya's 1st grade class.  We were celebrating The 100th Day of School for this school year.

I helped with various centers.  There were counting games and writing activities.  My favorite center, however, was one in which the little ones drew a picture of themselves at the age of 100.

"Just be creative," said their teacher.  "When you are 100 will you be bald?  Will you have wrinkles?  Maybe you'll have a cane."


So the children drew and drew.  They drew on their imaginations.

Some were quite realistic in their artwork.  Liver spots and dementia were included.

My own child drew an old lady with wild blue eyes and a thick, black handlebar mustache.

"You are going to have a mustache when you're an old lady?" I asked.

"Yup.  Some women grow facial hair."

While my child's artwork was creative and warmed my heart, I must admit my favorite picture was drawn by Wiener Boy.

"I drew my 100 year old wiener!" he shared with the rest of the class.  He held out his paper for me to see.

I took a gander.

This small white child had used a dark brown crayon to draw his 100 year old wiener.  He was generous and graphic in his depiction. He drew a substantial head, and everything.  It hung there.  Loud and proud.  Unaffected by stares and giggles.

"Where are your clothes?" I asked, laughing.

"I'm too fat and old to put them on.  I can't bend.  My underwear ripped off."

He drew a pair of brown undies rent in twain.  They lay on the floor at the feet of his naked 100 year old self.

"Old people fart a lot.  I'm going to fart a lot when I'm old," said Wiener Boy. "And I'm going to order my food on the phone so people can just bring it to me."

"You should draw a cloud of gas coming from your butt," offered a helpful child.  My child.

"Good idea!" he said.

"The gas should be green," said Maya, sagely.

And green it was.

What will YOU look like when YOU are 100 years old?