Thursday, October 6, 2011
Naughty Boys And Wanton Witches
"Yeah but HER bobbies are just SMALL!" said one boy.
"Ya can't hardly even see 'em...," said another.
"Lemme see... your head is in the way!" exclaimed yet another.
I heard this exchange at the ELEMENTARY school today on the playground! EIGHT YEAR OLD BOYS ARE TALKING ABOUT BOOBIES!!
Don't boys have to be at least 12 before they start fighting inextinguishable primal urges?! IT'S TOO SOON! TOO SOON, I SAY!
I wanted to shout at the children.
YOU HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIVES TO STRUGGLE WITH TEMPTATION AND BE MISERABLE! STOP WHILE YOU STILL CAAAAANNNN!
They didn't hear my internal pleas for a return to innocence.
The boys were huddled studiously. Their brows were knit together in concentration. There was squinting.
What were they looking at?
I couldn't quite tell. A slew of grubby heads and dirty paws obscured my vision of the breasts in question.
I finally caught a chance glimpse...
Colorful advertisements of some sort...
Were these filthy little boys ogling Barbie dolls? Yes. I decided. They couldn't POSSIBLY be looking at REAL women, with REAL feelings and REAL bazzongas...
I didn't dare approach them. Nay. I am not so bold as all THAT.
I reached my older daughters who had been watching their younger siblings play on the jungle gym after school as I fulfilled my parent/teacher conferencing duties.
"Those boys are looking at pictures of Barbies and talking about boobies," I whispered to my girls with a giggle. (I could have been a better example of sobriety and decorum here... but no... I did not choose the higher road... I rarely do...)
My valiant Bella (11) stood up.
"Which boys, Mom?"
I nodded my head slightly in their direction so as not to arouse attention.
Bella marched RIGHT UP to those boys. She sat with them.
"Watcha lookin' at guys?" she said loudly. They tittered nervously. "SHAME ON YOU!" she said. Then she did that whole shame on you sign language thing.
Next I knew Bella had marched right back to me.
"THIS is what they were looking at. I took it away."
She waved the offensive literature in the air like a banner of Virtue.
The Banner of Virtue was an advertisement for HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. Painted Jezebels, Naughty Nurses and Wanton Witches stared hungrily at me.
I glared at them. WELL YOU NASTY LITTLE VIXENS! JUST LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU'VE GONE AND DESTROYED THE INNOCENCE OF YOUTH! What do you think about THAT?
"We have very low IQ scores so we don't think much at all..." came the response.
Just as I suspected.
Are boys supposed to be so frisky at this age?