Monday, September 19, 2011

God Provided Tickling and Saw That It Was Good

God has a sense of humor.  I've said it before.  I like that about Him.  I really do.

When I have my own planet I too will have a sense of humor and subject others to phenomenon meant merely for a hearty laugh.  Laughter is healthy, don't ya know.

God came up with the concept of tickling.

Long ago in the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve were bored.  They just sat around all day feeling pleasant.  They couldn't even get into debates or arguments of any kind as there was no Ire.

Eve never complained of dirty socks on the bathroom floor because Adam wore no socks (or clothing of any kind for that matter) and I'm pretty sure he never went to the bathroom.

Adam couldn't gripe about how Eve never let him out for a night on the town with his pals because there were no pals. Adam was a lone man in The Garden.  Adams only pals were lions and tiger and bears.  Oh my.  Which is not to say they were not wonderful companions!  On the contrary!  They were magical animals that directed musicals and invented Jazz Hands...

Adam and Eve hummed and hawwed and stared at each other with no lust or desire or passion or anger or even joy, for that matter.

That's when God invented Tickling.

Tickling to Pass The Time.

God sent the concept to Eve in a dream.

Eve, being the more mischievous of the two, began the first Tickle Fest by sticking her fingers under Adam's armpit and wiggling them about wildly.

Adam laughed the first laugh of Mankind.

Eve laughed with gusto when she heard his laugh.  It was far more high pitched than his regular speaking voice, which felt incongruous and silly.

Adam then retaliated by giving Eve a belly raspberry which sent her into peals of giggles.

Doves flew in all directions and monkeys clapped their approval at this unexpected turn of events.

The sheep stopped grazing and peacemaking to watch the happy spectacle.  BAAAAA! They said, which is to say, "BRAVO! WE APPROVE OF THIS TICKLING ACTIVITY THAT BRINGS ABOUT SUCH A JOVIAL SPIRIT"

Then Satan came and frowned upon this Tickling business.

The rest is history.

Poor Adam and Eve were forced out of The Garden after Eve, famished from all the Tickle Monster Fights, partook of the forbidden fruit.  Adam followed the example of his Tickle Partner and also partook.

In the dreary wilderness, Adam was to provide food by the sweat of his brow.

Eve was to squeeze 12 lb humans out of a dime sized orifice in the middle of the wilderness with no epidural or Lamaze classes to speak of.  She was commanded to multiply and replenish the earth in this ghastly manner.

The only real pleasure afforded them was the healing power of The Tickle Fight.

Tonight I tried to remind myself The Tickle Fight is a righteous endeavor when my two older daughters pinned me down and tickled me until I very nearly lost control of my bladder.

Bella held down my arms.  Serena held down my legs.

They assaulted my armpits, neck, belly and... um... what have you until I thought I would cry.

I laughed until my face hurt and my lungs begged for mercy.


They delighted in my suffering and continued with glee.

I DETEST being tickled as it makes me feel a great lack of control of my person as I howl and writhe and gasp for air.

I am HELPLESS against a Tickle.  I am reduced to a blathering FOOL.

All of my writhing, gasping and howling only encourages my savage children to continue the torture.

Luckily I did not wet myself on this particular occasion.

I do see that God not only provided Tickling as a way to stave off boredom but also as a means of coming
closer to those you tickle.  It only stands to reason one might feel more tender toward another who has recently wiggled one's fingers in the other's armpit.

Are you ticklish?