I went to a movie tonight with Lori and Mary Ann and Mindy. Then I saw Barbara on a date in the theater with her husband. So I sat right next to them.
"I'll bet your man thought you guys were on a date," I giggled at Barb.
She giggled at me. Then I giggled some more.
"I'll bet he didn't know it was girl's night, did he?"
"I didn't know it was girl's night," she laughed.
We saw that new flick with Ryan Gosling and that red head chick. It's called, like, Totally Insane Crazy Love Somethin' somethin...
I LOVED THAT MOVIE! LOVED! I laughed. I cried. I got a nice refreshing drink and a small popcorn like I always do. It's part of my optimal enjoyment movie goer plan. I feel deprived if I go to a movie and don't have a popcorn in one hand and a drink in the other. DEPRIVED!
But guess what? GUESS WHAT????
NONE OF MY FRIENDS BOUGHT SNACKS! Not Lori. Not Mary Ann. Not Mindy. Not even Babs and her man.
I was like some kind of greedy little snack whore. CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH!
While my friends were watching their waistlines and their pocket books I was squandering my meager funds and getting fat in the process.
My friends sat in their seats with suckers! SUCKERS!
Lori brought tootsie pops in every color of the rainbow. My friends were all sucking on lollipops while I was stuffing my face with kernels of crunchy, buttery JOY.
I wanted to be a cool kid too but...
They were like, Slurp. Slurp. Slurp. All the cool kids slurp.
I was all, CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH! All the loners crunch.
I could have sold out and sucked a lolly. But I feel it's important to always be true to one's self. "To thine own self be true" wrote Shakespeare. He was pretty wise a little bit.
So but THEN I LOVED the movie until the part where the teenage girl takes nude pictures of herself to give to some dude.
It makes me SICK that young girls feel like they have to expose their beautiful bodies in order to get love and attention. IT AIN'T GONNA GET YOU LOVE, CHICKY! Five minutes of attention, yes. But Love? Nope.
My friend recently told me her teen age daughter sent a topless pic of herself to teen age boy. She wanted him to choose her over another girl.
These kinds of things DESTROY the self-esteem of girls and WOMEN the world over. Did you know GROWN WOMEN participate in this lowbrow activity. Sexting?! EW!
In the movie, the hot smooth Ryan Gosling fell for the girl that WASN'T an easy slut. Imagine THAT. Huh.
Art mimics life.
Then I had frozen yogurt with the girls. I don't love frozen yogurt but I didn't want to be ODD again. So I partook of the forbidden fruit. I ate Cake Batter yogurt sprinkled with cookie dough and fresh black berries.
The yogurt place is called The Blue Banana. The logo is an actual blue banana. Frustrated frozen phallic symbol anyone?
As we ate Lori and I laughed about the time Mila Fanua french kissed me without permission when I was 16. I didn't even like that guy. And she was jealous because she wished he'd have stuck his tongue down HER throat.
Then she said, "But growing up, Crystal was always the pretty one so I had to be the funny one...."
Then I said, "Hey! I'm funny too!"
Then she said, "Uh huh. Just keep telling yourself that, Fancy Face."
She's calling me Fancy Face now. I like it.
Then we laughed because we have this very same convo once a month (minus the Fancy Face... that's new...).
It's nice to have real live friends.
