Every night I force my husband to watch re-runs of Friends with me and I drink my special tea. I have the box set of all Friends episodes. I love those guys. Make me laugh like a loon, they do. Right out loud.
"HAHAHAHAAAAAA!" I say as my man snores.
I just watched the episode with Ross and the leather pants. SHEER GENIUS! I haven't laughed that hard since I saw the episode where Ross and Rachel get married in Vegas!
I wonder how they're doing these days? My Friends. Rachel and Ross and little Emma? She must be getting so BIG now! How are they? I worry.
But I can't know about my good Friends. Can I? No. They cancelled Friends. AND "THEY" CANCELLED MY TEA! No Pheobe! No TEA-BE!
I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS IN MY OWN LIFE!
Every night when I am DYING to shove my face into a pan of not-quite-done brownies and devour the entire delightful confection in 30 seconds flat sans hands I drink my tea. It calms me. Satisfies my rampant desire for sin.
No sweetener. Just water and a tea bag. Below is the tea in question. Yogi's Mayan Cocoa Spice. It really IS tantalizingly rich and enlivening. "They" know this! It brings me peace and sanity.
"THEY" ARE REMOVING MY PEACE AND SANITY!!
I discovered this terrible news today when I went to the Funny Foods store. Sunflower. I was devastated. So I bought some new smelly body butter to cheer me up.
You wanna see what else I bought?
I always like to peek at people's grocery carts and then judge them accordingly. This is your chance to peek at mine.
Wanna see my receipt? Okay. I like sharing things with you. It draws us closer. The receipt is crumpled up and sideways but you don't mind. Because we are friends. I need friends ever since Monica and Chandler went away.
The Funny Foods store sells such funny food stuffs as amaranth flower, natural peanut butter, Stevia, nuts by the pound and broccoli.
Broccoli is hilarious. He always cracking jokes and razzing the other produce.
Broccoli sometimes takes his jokes too far. Like when he comments on Pear's shape. Then Pear cries and goes on a fad diet and passes out from starvation. I always have to remind Pear that J. Lo and Kim Kardashian have pear shaped bodies as well. And look how successful they are!
Fat thighs are IN!
My disdain over the loss of my enlivening Mayan Cocoa Spice Tea inspired me to try a new recipe tonight.
I found it in Oxygen Magazine. Protein Peanut Butter Cups.
Ingredients include chocolate protein powder, Stevia, natural peanut butter, cocoa powder and Love.
The cups are frozen in a cupcake tin for two hours. They taste decidedly protein powdery and natural peanut buttery and stevia-y. I'm a fan. I'm munching one right now. Munch. Munch. Munch.
I miss my tea and I miss my Friends. The world is changing, people. There is nothing you nor I can do. We must accept what comes with grace. I will soon become accustomed to life Without.
I love kittens. This kitten belongs to my sister, Michelle. She insists she is not a witch even though her cat is black. (A telltale sign of witchery.)
But kittens do not belong in this post as they are not a Funny Food... at least not in this country.
I suppose they could be a Funny Friend. But my husband is allergic.
