Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Soul Profile

My soul is in turmoil, my friends.  What is one to do when ones soul is inter moil?  Hmmm?

I tend to buy books when I'm all confused.  I'm trying to decide what to do with myself. who am I to be when I grow up?  I'm thinking of going back to school...  For what? I don't know.  I DON'T KNOW!!! AHHHHH!  I'm stressed (happily).

Today I bought  The Soul of Leadership by Deepak Chopra.  ...Unlocking your potential for greatness.

I read half of it today.  I dig it.  I wanna read all his stuff, I decided.  I want to unlock my potential for greatness... I've always wanted to be Great.  Nows my big chance!

The cover thingy is very orange and eye-grabbing. I DO judge a book by it's cover.  I DO.  Plus this guy wrote The Book of Secrets.  And I wanna know.  Secrets.  Tell me yours.  And I'll be sure to never divulge mine.  Seems fair to me.

IMy new book asked me some questions to help discover my "Soul Profile".

I can't BELIEVE I don't know my own SOUL PROFILE!  How HUMILIATING.  Can you IMAGINE?  I'll be 35 in July and I don't know my proper SOUL PROFILE???  I feel like the 16 year old in the locker room who hasn't starting menstruating yet.  I may die of shame.

Here are the questions I was asked.  (You can answer them for yourself, if you want but you probably already know your Soul Profile, so just humor me.)

I will answer the questions as honestly as possible... *ahem*

I always say *ahem* when I'm about to write something important.  I never ever say it in real life.  I doubt you would even RECOGNIZE  me in Real Life.  Since I don't say *ahem* and all.  ...You'd be waiting and waiting for my *ahem* and it would never come and you'd wonder if I were an impostor.  Sometimes I wonder that myself...


1.  What's my contribution in life?

4 children.  Spiritual Teaching.  Levity.  Clowning Around to Inspire People to Laugh because I Like to make people happy by acting ridiculous and reminding The Serious that life is not so serious as they think (which is the same as levity), Listening ( I'm a FABULOUS listener... except when I'm only pretending to listen because I'm writing a story in my head or arguing a philosophical point with myself.)  But generally I'm a GREAT listener.

What?  Huh?  Did you say something?  Next question...

2.  What's the purpose in what I do?

Inspire people's happiness and help them learn to inspire their own happy thoughts. 

And then I sprinkle fairy dust and we fly around the room and Tinker Bell gets all mad because Peter Pan loves me best.  I can fly!  I can fly!  I can fly!

3. How do I feel when I have a peak experience?

I can't believe he is referring to intimate relations here.  But I suppose if I had to answer I would say I feel... nevermind... too personal... next question...  UGH!  FINE!  I'll answer!  ...I feel satisfied.  Peaceful and Satisfied like an earthquake hit but all is well now...  Thank you Mr Pistol.

Next Q!

4.  Who are my heroes and heroines (from history, mythology, fiction, religion)?

Mmmk... Mother Mary,  The Other Mary, Jesus, Mother Eve,  Mother Theresa, My Mother, My Dad, Athena Goddess of Wisdom, Super Woman, Jennifer Lopez

Yo mama.

5.  What are the qualities I look for in a best friend?

Gotta be funny and hilarious and intelligent.  Someone who makes me think about things in a different way and inspires my creativity.  Someone who is confident, loving (but not all sappy, cause ew gross), non-judgemental, honest, not-needy (cause ew yucky clingy foul).  Someone who won't steal my stuff.

I'm taking applications for a chick or gay male BFF that is not family. 

6.  What are my unique skills and talents?

I am a gifted Empath.  I can feel you without your saying a word.  I can feel people feeling from far away if I focus.  Spooky, eh?

I have the Gift of Dreams too.  Like yesterday I dreamed I took the church girls to camp and a bear ate a few of them...  Now I know I must prepare so that does not occur in reality.  I also dreamed I was eating a ice cream and I don't like ice cream much... what could it MEAN??

7.    What are the best qualities I express in a personal relationship?

 Love.  Love.  Love.  Imperfect, but Love nonetheless.


So that's all the questions.  You have just perused my inner soul profile.  My innards are exposed to you all the elements.  Buzzards are lying in wait.

I'm now supposed to come up with one word to represent my Mission Statement.



For you and me and us.

Damn I hope the world doesn't really end on October 21st!  Not when I've only just discovered my Life's Purpose and all!!  It doesn't look good though.  There have been tornadoes in Missouri and volcanoes in Iceland recently.  Scary.

My only consolation is that The Mormons haven't issued an official warning.  Don't worry, guys. The Mormons and God are tight like that... We'll be just fine...   Make sure you've got a good food and water storage just in case though...

PS It's your turn to tell me your Mission statement or answer one of these Soul Profile questions.  A  good leader doesn't want anyone to feel left out.  So... I'm listening...