Friday, May 20, 2011

Kinder Betrayal

Saddest day EVER! 

My baby officially graduated from kindergarten with a little purple construction paper hat and everything.

Here's a pic of her pretty, young teacher.  She was wonderful.  It was her first year teaching.  Maya is an amazing reader because of her teacher's persistent efforts.

I cried in sheets.  Water poured from my face and filled the auditorium to capacity.  The kids loved it.  They had no idea it would be a SWIMMING graduation.  And a salt water pool, no less!  They doggie paddled and breast strocked their way through the singing program.  Fun was had by all.

My best little buddy will be going to school full time next year.  I will have to hand her over to the state.  Some other lady will bask in the life giving light of my child for 7 hours everyday next year.  Lucky bastard.

My heart actually hurts, here!  Ouch.  *whimper whimper*

Maya is my best friend.  She's my wing man. 

Because of her I haven't had to get a full time job with stuffy adults.  Because of her I don't "do lunch" with respectable ladies in the community.  Because of her I wear tiara's and feather boas to the grocery store, even though she thinks it's embarrassing.

NOW, however, what will be my excuse?  People will KNOW I'm nuts if I wear my dress ups in public without my child! 

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO WORK A JOB!!! OH LAWD HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!!!  Could there BE any worse fate than this?

I feel like Job from the Bible.  Everything bad happens to MEEEEEE! 

First my baby graduates from Kinder.  Next I get a job that makes money.  Everybody KNOWS money is filthy because people pee on it.  (Or at the very least don't wash their hands after going potty and then they handle it.) 

I am sure to get a pee-pee and poo-poo infested money germ disease.  It will render me incapable of functioning properly.  Then all my cows will die and locusts will devour my crops.  And my friends will leave me... in case I had any...

But do you think Maya CARES about all that?  Do you think for one second she is SAD about abandoning me?  Throwing me to the sharks?

Nay, my friends.  Nay.

In fact, she was the star of the show today at Kinder Grad.  Here is a 2 minute video PROVING her lack of remorse.  (She's a wiz with the inflatable guitar... and she can sing the alphabet backwards.  GENIUS, I tell you.)

In other news, I spent the evening sewing drapes for my sister's birthday.  I didn't finish.

I will deliver half of the drapes when I visit her in Las Vegas tomorrow.  I'll spend the weekend there with my mother, two oldest daughters, Coral and her four children... and Job.  Because I am he.

I was so busy wallowing the sorrow of Being Job.  That rather than sew early in the day and spend time chatting with and reading to my sweet Maya, I curled up on my bed and took and nap.

Maya watched a movie downstairs all by herself, which will prepare her for the real world.  My nap did her a service.  I think she learned a valuable lesson here.

I feel especially narcissistic right now.  So here are several pictures of me posing with my sister's fabric.

Pretty, ain't it?

One of these days I'll come up with the cash to but fabric for my own residence.  Can't wait.
The panels I did finish are lovely.  I used a gorgeous green smoothy, silky fabric for the lining.  White lining on drapes is booorrring.  I like a flash of color where it's least expected.

It's OK that I didn't finish the drapes on account of there is no man at my sister's house at the moment to hang the drapes.  Sewing drapes is women's work.  Hanging drapes is a dude's job. 

Yeah.  I'm not progressive or enlightened.  I really feel that way.  Mostly 'cause I don't want to bother with it.  (I'll have my man come next time and put up the completed draperies.)

Proof  I actually sewed something tonight.  I know I border on ridiculous posting all those pics but I could decide.  I don't look terribly obese in any of them so... I chose them all.

Since I was so lame about the sewing I decided to buy Coral a special ring. 

I am obsessed with Swarovski Crystals.  I have quite a collection.  she has always coveted my Nirvana Emerald Crystal ring.  I bought it for her with my meager pay check and now my children will starve.  We'll be twiners with power to rule the universe.

I hope she likes it.

Egyptians considered green to signify hope, eternal youth and everlasting life.  The called god "The Green God".

May we be forever young.  Goddesses in vintage skirts.