Knock knee, who?
I CAN DO KNOCK KNEES IN SKINNY JEANS! WITHOUT BREAKING MY LEGS OR RIPPING MY PANTS!
I wrote that joke myself.
I think it will catch on, as it applies to any human attempting knock knees in pants designed to stop the flow of blood in the lower half of the body.
My Knock Knee does not look impressive to the naked eye. But I assure you. It IS. Impressive.
I got very very silly today atop a mountain at the Memorial Day Pistol Family Picnic. VERY silly.
I blame that gosh durn infernal fresh mountain air. Air is thinner up there. As am I. Which explains why my pants are still whole.
Fresh air made me gleeful. As did the vast amount of caffeine I ingested on the assent.
The air had me laughing with wild abandon without provocation.
"HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" said I. "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"
Everybody looked. I posed the above picture's pose. They continued to wait. And stare. At me.
"TAAA DAAA!!! I'M KNOCK KNEED! AHAHAHAAAAAAAA!"
My husband glanced apologetically at my parents. They glanced apologetically at him. Everyone was very very sorry.
But as you can see, there is nothing to be sorry about!
See? All is well. I'll be fine. Just fine.
The adults shook their heads and averted their eyes. They looked a little sad for me.
But the children... OHHH THE CHILDREN! They flocked to me in DROVES. Droves of children.
And they followed my happy lead.
OK. So in this picture there is only one child following my lead. But mark my words, friend, there were DROVES. I was the Knock Kneed Pied Piper.
When I became accustomed to the thin oxygen I settled down. Straightened my legs.
I became aware the Iindigenous Wild People of The Mountain were busy. Busy building shelter from The World.
I learned they had lived on The Mountain since the days of Mermaids, Unicorns and Unconditional Love. They had watched Man and his modern civilization. Watched as Man declared war on his own planet.
The Indigenous wanted no part in Man's quest for More.
They were Pure In Heart. Blessed art they. For they shall see God.
The Indigenous People were small for their age. But one should never underestimate the Meek and Small.
I watched with awe as they built a sturdy hut before my very eyes.
"This is our shelter, Oh Ridiculous One," they said. "You may join us and disappear from the world of Man and More."
The very mention of Man and his insatiable Greed angered The Wild Wise.
"I will join you," I said.
And I was safe from The Noise.
If Only for a time.