Friday, March 25, 2011

Rad Radiation

Can ya FEEL me, dawg?  Can ya FEEL me?

Yes.  When I walk into a room you FEEL me, baby.  And I feel YOU.

In the above pic I am riding a pretend elephant with a sour apple sucker in my hand and feathers in my ear lobes.  I had a great day.  I'll share.  But first,

Check this out:

Everyone radiates a particular spiritual energy, and everyone is affected by that radiation.
                                                                                                           ~M. Catherine Thomas

There is one responsibility which no man can evade; that responsibility is his personal influence, a silent, subtle radiation... This radiation is tremendous.  Every person who lives in this world wields an influence whether for good or for evil.  It is not what he says alone; it is not alone what he does.  It is who he is... He cannot escape for one moment from this radiation of his character, this constant weakening or strengthening of others.
                                                                                                    ~President David O. McKay

Mmmmk. So if I'm pissed off and walk into a room I INFECT all those innocent people with my pissy-ness.  I don't even gotta SPEAK.  My magical energy zaps everyone and pissy-ness abounds.

If I'm paranoid and walk into a room then everyone I come in contact with will start twitchin' and lookin' over their shoulder.

But if I slide in feelin' all Peaceful and Loving and Open then I'll Radiate those things and The People will benefit.

Like in the pic below, for instance.  If I hang from the railing at the zoo like a monkey then YOU might want to do the same 'cause hanging like a fool in public raises serotonin levels in the brain.  And plus I saw the monkeys doing it.  Monkey See Monkey Do.

I went about my day with Rad Radiation in mind.  I engaged in three major events. 

1) Dermatologist apt.
2) Zoo visit
3)Julia's birthday party

1) Derm Apt.

"My son has gone off the deep end," said my facialist as she spread ACID on my face.  "He's left his family because he says he's fallen in Love with another woman.  His father and I are wondering what we did wrong."

"Free will," said I through gritted teeth, acid burning off the top three layers of my facial epidermis.  "Cain killed Abel.  Adam was his father.  You can't blame yourself.  Your son has Free Will.  You've been a good mother."

She showed her gratitude for my listening ear/ kind words by stabbing my face 1000 times with a needle to clean out my filthy pores.

It's cool.  Who needs a facial epidermis anyway?  Pft.  Not me.  Superfluous.

2) Zoo

It was fun.  I was nice and smiled at The People.  They smiled back.

See how smiley I am? 

The turtles smell stinky, but there I am, still smilin'.  Smilin' in the stank.  Radiating Radness.  I got some big teeth in my mouth.  The better to smile with, my dear.

3) Julia's Birthday Party

I found a fussy baby.  I was all chill and full of Love.  I held that fussy baby.  She feel asleep in 5 minutes flat.  For reals.

She was like "WAH! WAH!   ...wah?  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

 Babies are sensitive to Rad Radiation 'cause they barely came from Heaven and that is where The Concept originated.

When baby was fussy her Mama said,

"Oh you don't have to hold her!  I'll take her."

"Don't you dare take this baby out my arms, girl!"  said I.  "You just sit and relax. Let me work my magic."

Taaa daaaa!

Mama got to eat birthday cake in peas.  I did done a good deed.

Then Julia decided to check my heartbeat with a microscope.

"Do I have blood in there, Julia?"

"Yes.  You have blue blood."

"Excellent.  Do I have a heart in there?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Let me know, Dr. Julia."

"I found it.  It is very LOUD."

There you have it folks.

Rad Radiation inspires a Happy Heartbeat.  It was a good day.

Love. Love. Love.  All you need is Love.

Shhhhhhhhhhh.... listen....

Can YOU hear my heart beat?

PS  I was about to close up shop when I noticed this:

One of my children has engaged in an act of senseless violence by stabbing this innocent banana with a plastic fork. 

Why would someone DO such a thing?!