Monday, February 28, 2011


At what age should a Mama be Uber modest in the presence of her son?

I don't mean the MOM's age, of course!  Don't be silly.

I am refering to Little Johnny.  How old should Little Johnny be when Mama starts nervously wrapping towels about her body and saying, "Don't you ever knock???"

I have this... friend, see... and she (who is by no means ME) has a seven year old son.

My friend is a bit of a hippie when it comes to these things.  She is a stiletto wearing hippie.  Unorthodox but Real, man.  Can you dig it?

She nursed each of her kids in public at restaurants and looked the waiter in the eye with child securely fastened.

"I'll have the Dulce de Leche cheesecake," she would say.  "With a glass of milk on the side."

She delighted in the discomfort of others at this magical time in her life.  There really is nothing more bonding and loving than a nursing mother and her babe.

"It's perfectly natural!  Babies need to eat too.  I refuse to behave as though I'm ashamed of feeding my child.  If people have a problem with me they can LEAVE,"  she used to say...

When my friend bathes or showers the bathroom is Grand Central Station.  Children, husbands and dogs run amuk and bombard her with questions regarding field trips, homework and knock knock jokes.

"Mom?  Do all knock knock jokes have to begin with "Knock Knock"?

She doesn't mind a bit.  It's convenient and natural in her mind.  This is IMPORTANT stuff!  Answering these questions represent MILESTONES in the life of a child. They simply can't wait the five minutes it takes to lather, rinse and repeat!

Lately her husband has been trying to ban The Boy from the family shower party, in which she is the only human actually showering.

"He is too old." says the husband.  "It's inappropriate."

I disagree on the grounds that no one gave me an instruction manual.  I feel fine about it. It's no big deal.  And it doesn't seem fair that three girls, a dog and a husband have access granted but not the Tiny Man in question, especially considering how innocent and oblivious he is. 

My friend is at a loss.

So I ask YOU, oh wise ones.  I ask you to dig deep into the recesses of your mind and remember what the protocol was when YOU were wee tike or tike-ette?  And if you have little ones, what's your stance?  What is the cut off age?  How is it done?

Is little Johnny informed on the Eve of his 4th birthday that he should from this point forward be ashamed if he accidently spies with his little eyes? 

I'm sure my friend will not follow any advice you render.  But she's curious just the same.  Spit it out, yo.