Sunday, January 23, 2011

Maxi Public Offense

Tonight at the dinner table my husband was teaching my children the fine art of opening the door of a public restroom with a paper towel.

"But WHY, Daddy?" they clamored.

He explained that public people sometimes don't wash their hands after their potty-going experience.  When folks touch the door handle yucky yucky germs are transferred, which infects the hands of the DECENT who HAVE washed their hands.

The whole bathoom etiquette conversation got me thinking.

The more I thought about Public People not washing their hands after Private Business the angrier I became.

I am Officially Enraged!

This is just CRAP! 

Have YOU ever witnessed somone exiting the WC without hand washing?

How did it make YOU feel?

If you're a DECENT person I'll bet you felt uneasy.  Maybe you even wanted to SAY something to the Offensive Offender.

What would you have said?

Would you have been gentle and polite?  ~ Umm, excuse me, ma'am, but it seems you have forgotten to wash your hands...

Would you have used sarcastic humor?  ~ Hey!  Good idea.  DON'T wash your hands.  That's not gross AT ALL. 

Perhaps word play is more your bag... ~Pull up a STOOL.  Stay awhile and wash your hands.

What are we, as a community, to DO about this heinous Public Offense?

Lack of hand washing is not an issue we can afford to ignore! 

If we can CONTROL the amount of trace fecal matter that exits our public bathrooms we can reduce the common cold/flu by HALF!  That's right, folks!  HALF! 

If we say NO! to lazy hand washers we will be saying YES! to health and happiness for our children!

Let us band together, my friends!  Let us combine our efforts to SNUFF OUT poopy hands!

The next time you see someone attempting to escape the bathroom without paying due homage to good old soap and water, SHOUT!

SHOUT at the offender WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!


I promise if we each do our part we will no longer have to educate our children in the fine art of Paper-Towel-To-Door-Handle-Grippage at the dinner table.

You CAN make a difference.

This message was approved by Crystal Pistol.

In other news, I dreamed I was eating a piece of toast with peanut butter and honey and banana slices last night. 

When I woked up I was not suprrised to find my husband had made me that VERY treat for breakfast.  I was not surprised, because he fixes me that very toasty peanut buttery treat EVERY Sunday morning.

I don't like to waist time making my OWN break fast on Sundays mostly because everyone KNOWS the main reason we go to church is to get all dressed up and look the cutest of everyone else!

If one wishes to look the cutest of everyone else one should find a good man who will support this endevor and deliver sustina.nce.  As applying make-up is taxing and requires reinforce mints.

I wore a MAXI SKIRT to church today.

I HATE that they are called MAXI SKIRT.  Gross.  Reminds me of other things that start with MAXI of which I will not name directly because I am a Lady.

The idea of Maxi skirts is they are long and drag on the floor just a titch.  Which makes me glam.

Maxi skirts are all over right now!  The run way is tripping on them and also Anthropologie.

i'm glad I stocked up befor I ran out of money.  that was close one! PHEW! 

PS I think the belt makes my waste look smaller than.