Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Blind Love

I have conversed with the Spirit of the woman who once owned this dress.  A door to the World of Spirits has been opened to me.

It is a 1950's Vintage Razooks black lace cocktail dress.  I purchased it for $18 and added the ribbon sash myself, as the belt was missing.

I wore this dress to church on Sunday morning.  When I slipped my arms into the delicate sleeves and zipped the back a rush of energy took my breath away.

Sunday night found me in a house of sleeping babes.  I read peacefully by the light of the Christmas tree.  The dress hung in my closet awaiting the next time I fancied black lace.

As I read I became aware of a presence in the room.  I looked around and saw no one.  I continued reading.  A book fell to the floor.  The presence was feminine.  I focused my gaze in the direction of the energy I felt.

"I can feel you." I said.

The lights on the tree flickered.

"You don't have to do that," I said.  "I know you are here.  I know you are a woman.  What do you want?"

I was suddenly filled with an intense frustration that was not my own.

She spoke to my mind. 

"Tienes mi vestido," she said.  You have my dress.

"Oh.  You're a Mexican ghost," I said.  "Como te llamas?"

"Lucinda," she replied.

We conversed in Spanish.

"Lucinda, why are you here?"

"You wore my dress today."

"Yes." I said. "You have been with me all day.  Something important happened while you were wearing this dress.  Tell me about it."

Sometimes spirits just need a listening ear. 

"I lied to the Love of my life in that dress," she said.

My chest ached with intense regret and sorrow.  Tears filled my eyes and slid down my cheeks.

She continued,

"He asked me to marry him.  I told him I didn't Love him.  I told him I didn't want him.  But I DID Love him!  I DO Love him!  Crystal, I will NEVER stop loving him!"

My body was racked with sobs I could not control.

"As a child he fell victim to a terrible fever.  He lost his sight.  He was blind.  I could not marry a blind man!  I was so beautiful!  I could not marry a man who would never admire the beauty of my face. I could not marry a man with the knowledge I would have to match his socks everyday..." she said.

I interjected.

"Very few men with 20/20 vision match their own socks.  I know my husband doesn't... Why did you fall in Love with this blind man?" I asked.  "What drew you to him?"

My heart was soft and full of warmth as she spoke.

"His voice drew me to him. He sang with the soulful tenor of an angel.  Sometimes we entered singing competitions together.  Our voices blended seamlessly.  Even though we were only friends, he always held my hand as we sang.

I knew I was falling in Love.  I fought it with all my might.  He was not what I had pictured for my future.  

On Christmas Eve in 1957 we had been asked to sing for a special program in the Plaza.  I had ordered the black, lace dress from New York especially for the occasion. 

I was stunning in that dress.  Everyone stared at me and whispered of my great beauty.  I felt I had the world at my fingertips. 

The performance was spectacular. Our voices reached the heavens and danced among the stars.

When the final note was sung we made our way off stage.   

He turned to me.

'Te amo con el alma, Lucinda,' he said.  I love you with my soul. 

'Marry me.'

I trembled and felt faint but replied firmly.

'I am not in love with you.  I'm sorry.  This is not meant to be.  We are friends.'

I yearned for him to hold me.  I wanted his mouth on mine.  I wanted him to remove this dress and make Love to me.  I wanted him to see every inch of me with his hands. I resisted these desires.

'You think because I am blind I cannot see the Love in your eyes.  You Love me, Lucinda.  The fire in your heart is mine. You cannot convince me otherwise,' he said.

'You are wrong.  I do not Love you,' I lied.

I died the next morning.  My car hit a patch of ice on the way to church.  The details don't matter.  Dead is dead.

My Love has forgotten me.  He is great-grandfather to 14 beautiful children.  He has created a legacy, while I shall be forgotten.

I watch him from afar.  I refuse to destroy his peace with my presence.  I had my chance."

"What a horrible story, Lucinda!"  I said.  "I am so sorry you have suffered so much regret.  What can I do to help you let him go?"

"Love," she said.  "He could not see the physical world.  I could not see Eternity.  I was selfish, vain and short-sighted.  When he held my hand he was the blind leading the blind.

Promise me you will open your eyes and Love.  Cling to the people who are important in your Eternity.  Let all else fall by the wayside.  Cling to your husband.  Cling to your children.  Your parents.   Your siblings.  Tell them you Love them.  Humble yourself.  Soften your heart."

"I promise," I replied.

And she was gone.  

PS  I'd like to find the fluffy skirt Maya is wearing in the first pic in MY size.  Cute and ghost free.

In addition, I attempted a smile in the picture below but as I am not a morning person this Fakey-Fakerson Smile was all I could muster...  Painful.