Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Touchy Subject

"DON'T TOUCH MY JUNK!" is the refrain shouted from the rooftops by men everywhere.

Are you a man with a small package?  Get ready, pal.  The jig is up.  THIS dude has a small penis.  He apparently "lost his mind" and went all nuts after he was screened because  his co-workers took a gander at his x-ray and teased him mercilessly.

The world is in a tizzy over the new TSA security policies.  Travelers get to choose between two exciting options.  Vaginal/Boobie/Penis Pat down or Pornographic X-ray?

Ummm... oooo... this is a TOUGHIE... which one should I choose?!


I can't imagine how violated I would feel!  Makes me shiver just thinking about it.

And there is NO WAY IN HELL I would allow my daughters or son to be subjected to this insanity.

TSA administrator, John Pistole  (great name, btw) is standing his ground.  He refuses to change his policies based on the latest intelligence.

I wanna know what he knows!  Are terrorists ramming M-16s in their special places?  Are they hiding switch blades behind their testicles?  That would hurt, I think.

People are very upset about the latest development.  How do YOU feel about it?

One woman interviewed said, "It makes you want to go to the airport with no clothes on at all."

I'm going to go ahead a disagree with that sentiment.

You don't get to see what I got goin on, Security-People-At-TSA-Who-Are-Not-At-Fault-But-Are -Probably-Having-Several-Good-Laughs-A-Day!!!

Guess who else is having a good laugh over this... I'll give you a hint.  It starts with "T" and rhymes with "Errorists".    Yeah.  Terrorists are yuckin it up in their caves right now as they watch reports of men with small members lose their minds.

I've been giggling about it for two days now.  I especially giggled when I thought, "Well, I guess flying will become a Large Members Only Club...".  Get it?  Members...only?  BAHAHAHAHAAAA! 

I irreverently asked my hot latina girlfriends at the gym today what they thought.

"If I'm going to get groped it better be by a hot guy.  And then I should get to return the favor.  It's only fair," said one friend.

"I don't mind if they take a naked picture," joked another.  "But they better pay me generously.  I look GOOD!" said another.

My friends are just as narcissistic as I am.

Not everyone is upset though.

I read an article today interviewing Indian actor Shahrukh Khan.  After his x-ray was taken it was copied  and passed around by Heathrow security staff.

Kahn relays the story and shares how he caught a few girls carrying his x-ray around.  "So I autographed them for them," said Kahn.

This issue has officially become ridiculous.